Sunday, December 30, 2012

This Week on Facebook

Trying to get The Kid on some other movies beside Despicable Me and Up! Today is Shrek. It's going well except she keeps yelling at the TV, "Shrek wears a brown bra! Boys don't wear bras, Shrek!"

The Kid kept telling me she wanted to hear the Christmas song with "police daddy-did" in it. Took me half the day to realize she was talking about "Feliz Navidad".

Just caught The Kid milking her sippy cup. She said, "This cup is a cow! Milk comes out of this nipple, too!" Awesome.

The Kid thinks whenever anyone's praying, she should be praying, too. Yesterday during the middle of the sacrament water prayer, The Kid's prayer went, "And please bless the water it won't be nasty so I can drink it." Other things she's been thankful for over the past week: Santa Claus, the ground, daddy's iPad, and her froggy potty.

In a showing of supreme parenting knowledge, I bought all Christmas presents a size bigger than The Kid actually needs to give her room to grow. She's tripping over the toes of her boots and is at least an inch from reaching the pedals on her bike. As a result, her Christmas is a bust. But in six months, I'll look like a bloody genius.

Christmas present from Husband = a new phone WITH a data plan. That gives me the opportunity to be even more obnoxious on Facebook by checking in everywhere I go and posting billions of pictures of things no one cares about! Therefore, my Christmas present extends great happiness unto all! You can thank Husband at your earliest convenience.

So. There's a shirtless dude standing outside of Abercrombie and Fitch. Did he pay too much for his pants and was unable to afford a shirt? Did he literally give someone the shirt off his back? Is he being paid to stand there and flex? If so, how much is a live, flexing statue worth to A&F these days?

If the CIA is really serious about questioning terrorists, they should hire a bunch of 2-year-olds. If I counted the number of questions The Kid asks in a day...she's relentless.

A conversation with The Kid:

Me: Wowee, you look really good in those pants!
The Kid: No, I don't look good, dude, I look really, really awesome.

And a final quote from The Kid for today: "Mamma, please take my clothes off so I can have some fun!" I'm not taking your clothes off, leave them on! "I don't want to have fun with my clothes on!"

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