Friday, September 07, 2012


Carolyn, what are you doing?

I'm making food mama!

Translation:  She's in the kitchen standing on her stool pouring salt and pepper into a bowl and then eating spoonfuls of it.

Carolyn, what are you doing?

I'm cleaning, mama!

Translation:  She's standing over the toilet throwing toilet paper in and then stirring it up with the toilet brush.

There's a local spa offering a facial with COMPLEMENTARY EXTRACTIONS.

Translation:  They're going to pick your zits for free.  I should have been an aesthetician.

This has nothing to do with anything, but I've been watching all of the style sections on the morning shows and I'd just like to say that I am totally against this printed pant/skirt trend.  TOTALLY.

Also on the morning shows this morning, studies prove that people who make their bed and shine their silver are happier.  Oh, yes naturally.  Because I totally have tarnished silver and it's just bringing me down. 

Has anyone else ever had tomato pie?  Sounds nasty, right?  But, it's not.  In the version I had, there's bacon.  And cheese.  And mayonnaise.  And all that together makes it de-freakin'-licious.

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