Friday, February 10, 2012

18 Months

Took Carolyn for her 18 month check up today.

Guess what?

(Raising hand) She weighs too much?

You got it.

The doctor red-penned me.

Is that something they teach all healthcare professionals to do?

Whip out the red pen and make giant marks on the growth chart to make you feel like a crappy parent?

The mother doesn't understand the graveness of this situation - get the red pen!

You'll all be happy to know that I've stopped reacting at all.

I know my kid is just fine.

Her height, just like her weight, is above the 95th percentile, so no biggie, right?

Plus, Baby Center says that if she keeps growing at the rate she's growing now, she'll be 5'11" tall, which will effectively make her power forward material.

Hell, two inches beyond that and look out all you ugly mug centers (is there a reason why all centers are ugly?), my baby will take you down like a gnat.

She won't feel a thing.

And, if she gets The Mother's jumping ability, we're looking at the first female to be invited to the NBA's dunk contest.

Nothing wrong with that.

Look out, man.

She's comin' for you.

Official Stats:

Height:  34 inches
Weight:  31.2 pounds
Head Circumference:  Giant
Ability to Withstand Pain from Shots:  Excellent
Ability to Speak in 3-4 word sentences:  Freakin' Brilliant (but also requires a translator)


The Rypple Effect said...

True definition of quack. My doc. puts everyting into her lap top so I have never seen the red pen...and I hope I never do...but that is crazy. So sorry! Your baby is perfect (but you already knew that!)

Becky said...

Repeat after me: It's time to change baby doctors. :-)
Ferills though, my friend's 5 year old is off the charts for both height and weight and her doc just smiles and jokes about her "seven" year old. If height is proportionate to weight, why worry? Why worry at all, ever? It's not like you're going to put your one year old on diet, for pete's sake. Sheez.

BexxT said...

My nephew is on the opposite end of the spectrum- he is like WAY off the charts on height (he's 3, and is taller than most 1st graders) but is only 33 pounds if he just consumed everything in his food frenzy warpath.

Seriously, the kiddo ate HALF of a pork tenderloin the other night. Thank goodness we grilled up 2 of them for 5 adults and 1 toddler. I thought I was being reckless cooking up that much food.

My sis-in-law gets a lot of crap at the doc because he is so underweight, like 10-15% for his height. She practically force feeds him whole milk and he gets to eat whenever he wants. Which is ALL DAY LONG. He eats normal sized sandwiches, sometimes 2 of them. He eats like 6 bananas a day. And apples. And those are just the snacks. He also gets 3 huge meals.

So be a patient, she will even out and until then, seriously, find another doc. One that doesn't treat you like an idiot.

Kings just had his 1 year check up on Friday and he is 31.5 inches/22 pounds/and he also has a gigantic head (92-96% for my baby!) Sometimes he looks like a bobblehead since he is 90+ on height, 45ish on weight and 95+ on head.