TKO

1. Had there been a newspaper headline from The Doctor's Office yesterday, it might have been something like this: Little Miss Smarty Pants Bests Big Miss Know-It-All in Brutal Medical Pronunciation Brawl. Apparently 90% of all Texans pronounce the word "larynx" (otherwise known as your voice box), "lair-en-ex". Normally I wouldn't push it because it's really not that big of a deal but Miss Know-It-All kept insisting that she was pronouncing it right because she's "been in the medical field for 13 years". The Doctor and The Doctor's Wife agreed with me on the correct pronunciation of "lair-inks". The dictionary was the final word. Or so I thought. Miss Know-It-All says that The Doctor and the dictionary are wrong. Go figure.

2. It's supposed to be 80 degrees today. It's cloudy outside, as it has been since Monday. I wish I could command the elements because I want it to just rain already. I want the sun back.

3. The sunburn Husband sustained on Saturday is starting to peel. It's a pickers dream. It's not Husband's dream, however.

4. As of tonight I am halfway through my massage class. I thought I'd feel a whole lot more comfortable and confident by now but I really don't. I think this is because half of the time when we're supposed to be massaging, The Instructor is messing around and wasting time. I'm still waiting for him to bring in new people for us to massage. He said he was going to two months ago but it has yet to happen.

5. I know I've talked about this before, but this time I'm really going to do it. I've decided to move to the forest, build a bouviac, and live on pine needle soup. Except that last time I tried to build a bouviac, I ended up sleeping in the water that seeped through the "waterproof" material. And I don't know how to make pine needle soup. Maybe instead I'll get some goats. And churn my own goat butter and goat cheese.

6. I'm happy to announce that I am pretty much a champion of Dance, Dance Revolution on the Wii. I finished all of the songs with high grades in the basic mode. I felt pretty confident so I bumped it up to difficult. Ummm....HELLO! Difficult is so hard that the game kept yelling at me, "YOU'RE IN DANGER! JUST FEEL THE BEAT!" I almost had to throw the console out the window because I was feeling the beat, the game was just feeling it faster.

7. A patient just called here to tell us that she thinks she has an "east infection". From what I understand, east infections are fine....as long as you don't let them go south.

8. The home health representative from Omnibus came in today. Everything he touches smells like his cologne. It's heaven. In fact, whenever he brings pens, I put them in my desk where no one is allowed to touch them because they'll muddle the smell. Then, every time I open my drawer I get a healthy whiff.

9. And speaking of home health reps, The Doctor currently has one cornered in his office preaching about the challenges of love and sexuality. Really. The Former Receptionist and I had that workshop about six months ago. He gave us each a copy of a talk on the same subject he gave to the church singles group back in 1994. Nothing like broaching highly inappropriate topics with your office staff. If I were that home health rep, I would run for my life.