Friday, January 16, 2009

Who Taught You to Measure?

1. I'm having serious doubts about the teaching methods in beauty school. For instance, who on earth teaches the section on proper measuring techniques? I wonder if anyone has actually shown any stylist a ruler. When a client wants you to cut ONE inch, that doesn't mean removing all hair from the shoulder to the bottom of the ear. That's more than one inch. Just for future reference.

2. I'm tired of trying to share my limited knowledge of income taxes with a girl who thinks she is being double taxed. She thinks she pretty much knows everything. Which of course, she doesn't. Because I'm the one that knows everything.

3. I think it's hilarious that I have 120 friends on Facebook. Because I don't have any friends in real life.

4. I religiously make fun of Beaumontians for being scared of cold weather. However, this past week, not only has it been chilly (which I LOOOOOOVE), it has been dry. Dry enough that I feel like I have dry boogers in my nose all the time. No, I don't feel like I'm sharing too much by telling you that.

5. Have I mentioned that I have a fabulous husband? I do.

6. I'm not allowed to watch TV anymore. I cry while watching all the time - like when the stealth bomber did the fly over at the Rose Bowl. Yup. There's Erin. On the couch. Crying like a baby.

7. We actually did exactly what we were supposed to do at my massage class on Thursday night. It was fabulous.

8. One of our patients told me yesterday that I am "exactly the right size." He told me that I remind him of his wife. Uhhh...sir....I knew your wife. And she was 4'10" and literally weighed 98 pounds. What about that sounds like me?

9. The Judy has sent me a sample of the lotion she is now making. I told you she's a witch. She told me that maybe I could use the lotion in my massage class "on the down low".

10. I honestly used to think that I was a very loud person before I moved to Texas. I don't even hold a candle to some of the women down here. Meaning that I don't even have a candle. I can't even think about having one. Those of you who also thought I was loud were apparently wrong.


Amy said...

HEY!! WHAT IS THIS THIS NO FRIENDS COMMENT???? i do not believe you wrote have officially offended me....since i am not your friend it wont hurt your feelings when i knock your silly butt out..... ; )
ps....i WANT to try some of the witchs lotion....this is how you make up the "no friends" comment.....

Porter Family said...

Nothing wrong with getting a little teary when watching the rose bowl. It's a religious experience in our home. I want some of witch Judy's lotion if you're handing out samples.

Porter Family said...

I forgot--my mom once went to get her hair done and the lady was in the middle of cutting it when she said, "Oh, dear, your hair shrinks when it dries!" That's why only Lindsay cuts our hair--she knows that curly hair shrinks when dry.

Riley, Lindsay & Ava said...

The scariest thing about it is that they do have rulers. Our combs have rulers on the spine. Goes from 1" to 7", otherwise known as a standard 7 inch comb. I think it isn't that they don't know how to measure, they obviously don't know their numbers. They will probably still graduate and ruin people's hair for their whole is a fantastic system.

Porter Family said...

With my luck I'd get a stylist that had their 7's and 1's confused. Luckily, my personal stylist passed beauty school with flying colors and graduated in the top of her class. She's also my sister, which may explain some of her giftedness. Linds, I never knew that's why they called it a 7 inch comb. You learn new things everyday.