Debate

I have no idea how all of those political analysts on TV decide who won last night's debate. Perhaps they were influenced by the campaign headquarters of both candidates who, immediately after the debate had ended, issued a statement declaring victory. I WON! NO, I DID!

I also take issue with the fact that it took them four hours to break down and evaluate how each candidate did. I can do it in less than 30 seconds. Here it is:

Sarah Palin: Didn't answer half of the questions asked. When she did, she gave a very brief answer and then steered the conversation back to energy and the state of Alaska (please make sure you say that with the Sarah Palin accent). She also MIGHT have mentioned the words "greed and corruption" in relation to Wall Street approximately 83 times and called John McCain a "maverick" more times than I can count (I'm sorry, I know that even John McCain calls himself a maverick but the only thing I think of when I hear that is "TOP GUN" and Tom Cruise...you can be my wing man anytime). All in all, she did better than 98% of America expected of her. It's probably not very much fun to have only 2% of your mother country believe in you.

Joe Biden: Also didn't answer half the questions. When he did he used big words that average Americans such as myself didn't understand. Ok, so he only did that once. He spent another quarter of the time saying that either he or Barack "never said that". The good news for him is that instead of putting Sarah Palin six feet under like he could have done (if you saw any of the preliminary debates, you know that most of the time he says exactly what he's thinking, which most of the time gets him in trouble), he focused on his party's platform. Imagine that. He also said that John McCain is no maverick. Them sounds like fightin' words to me.

Both: Said things that weren't true, giving the CNN research team enough material to keep them busy until the 2012 election (which, by the way, is also when the next summer Olympics are. SO EXCITED ALREADY). Apparently no politician can keep their facts straight. The biggest surprise of the evening: both of them agreed that they would not legalize gay marriage. That's quite a step away from the traditional democratic party line.

All in all, I thought this debate was much more anticipated and more entertaining than the actual presidential debate held last week or the one scheduled for next Tuesday. John McCain and Barack Obama are a little too intense (which probably makes for a good president but I don't want to see that on TV). I think both of them should be required to have a joke prepared to open any further debates.

The bad news is that it in no way, shape, or form, helped me to understand the issues - they didn't bring up anything I didn't already know - and it didn't help me decide who to vote for.

Is Ross Perot sure he doesn't want to run this year?