An Honest Conversation

The doctor has a lot of patients who are old (old meaning that they are on Medicare). As such, he has a great tendency to refer his patients out to see a lot of other doctors. The dermatologist, the neurologist, the cardiologist, the gastroenterologist, and just about every other -ologist you can imagine.

Ever since I've started working here, I've been amazed at how many people don't question these referrals, don't want to know why he's sending them, and don't care that it might cost them an arm and a leg. The most common reply is, "Whatever you say, you're the doctor."

Yesterday, for the first time, I finally heard an honest conversation about a referral. The doctor wanted to send this 70-year-old lady to get a complete abdominal ultrasound. The woman is diabetic and the fasting that is required for the ultrasound messes up her insulin injections.

The doctor pushed ahead and had me schedule the test anyway before the patient left the office. The following was what ensued (do not read on if you have problems with a little profanity...just remember that it is 70-year-old-woman profanity, and that makes it FUNNY):

Erin: They have the test scheduled for 10 am.

Woman: SHIT. It jacks up my insulin when I can't eat for that long. Doctor, you know I'm old. You know I got problems. What the hell are you trying to do, kill me?

Doctor: I think that this test is necessary to find out what's going on with your stomach.

Woman: SHIT. I don't I need the damn test.

Erin: You need to be there by 9:30 to fill out the paperwork.

Woman: SHIT. They can go to hell.

Doctor: I think you should go. And get someone else to drive you there since you might have problems with your insulin intake because of the fasting.

Woman: I might have problems? SHIT. I don't need no damn driver. I'm goin' to drive myself there. SHIT.

By the end of it all, I was nearly wetting myself, I was laughing so hard. FINALLY...someone who says what they really think!