Fall in Ruby Valley

The Baby

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Calvin

Calvin is The Judy's very spoiled cat:

Charlie, The Cow Dog

My sister's dog, Charlie thinks he's a cow dog...

In reality, he's the one that's running away...

The Ranch

Just Call Me Superman

Cam as a GQ Model

Totally a Hat Person

Here's Carolyn at the park in a hat.  She hated it.  The hat, not the park.  Then again, I really have no idea - it's not like she told me she hated the hat and not the park.  Maybe she hated both.  She was also drinking formula with beetle larvae in it, but whatever...

Mice: You've Been Warned

When you live in the country, having mice - A LOT of mice - in your house is part of the country ambiance.

The Judy fights the good fight to keep the burgeoning mouse population down, but let's face it, it's a losing fight.  Kind of like me trying to become a bikini model.

When I arrived two weeks ago, all of The Judy's traps were out of commission, so a trip to Walmart was a must.

Since that time, The Judy has become a mice killing machine.

Her traps have netted at least two, if not four mice per night.

If you're lucky, and you wake up early in the morning, you can see the fresh kill because The Judy likes to pile the mice up by the front door on her daily trap checking rounds before dumping them unceremoniously in an old Schwann's ice cream bucket outside.

She says she's going to strap them to the front of her car and drive down the valley.

You know...to warn the other mice that this is what happens to unwanted critters down to her house.

Just a Couple More, Then I'll Stop

Just a few more things I love about home:

1.  Mom's clothesline.  Mom has done a load of laundry nearly everyday since we've been here - thanks to me and Carolyn.  She hangs the clothes on the clothesline to dry.  There was a shirt of mine that's had a stain on it for six months - three hours on the clothesline and BAM!  Gone!

2.  Homemade bread for sacrament at church.


Oh, and for anyone who cares/is keeping tabs, it was the worm infested Similac formula that was making Carolyn constantly fussy.  We changed her to Enfamil on Thursday afternoon and in 24-hours, her demeanor had completely changed.  She's like a new baby - even the colic seems to be receding. Stupid, stupid Similac.  Now if I can just keep her from catching the same cold I've caught, everything will be dandy!

More Things I Love About Home

1.  Homemade bread with homemade strawberry freezer jam.  I know, I could make both in Texas, but it's just not the same.  Of course, I've never made freezer jam in my life.  There.  I said it.  I might be the only Mormon girl left in America who's never made freezer jam.

2.  The Judy has a "picking station" set up in the brightest window in the house.  It's complete with a magnification mirror and tweezers.  The only bad thing about it?  I've just recently become aware of how bad my beard really is.  Good grief, but living in ignorance might have been the better choice.

3.  While preg testing, the vet marked all of the open (not pregnant) cows with an "O" on their hip with a giant stick of neon orange chalk.  The Judy, upon hearing of the first open heifer said, "Ok, John.  Mark her with the "O" of shame."

4.  You can see the moon.  And all of the stars.

5.  Cool mornings.

6.  I've been reminded that I am not as ugly as I was thinking I am.  I was able to straighten my hair on Tuesday for the first time in ten months, thanks to the drier climate of Nevada.  I really am better looking here.  No, really, I'm not making that up.

7.  Mom while watching an NFL game with Jared, "Oh, hey, Jared, is this fantasy football?"

8.  Getting to use my cell phone when we go into town.  When it's only once a week, it kind of seems like a treat.

9.  My aunt, Lyn, put my massage license to use for the first time since I passed the test back in March.  I haven't given a massage since last October.  I was kind of dreading it because my hands and arms are so out of massage-giving shape.  Then I put her on the massage table and the only thought that came to my mind was, "Man, I love this."

10.  Watching Dancing With the Stars with The Judy.  And being happy that The Hoff was the first to go.  I'm sorry, but he's creepy with a capital "C".

Shame on You...And You, Too

Since we've been in Ruby Valley, Carolyn has been having a rough go of things.  Over the past week or so, she's been so fussy, The Judy and I are both exhausted just trying to keep up with her crying.  She's gone from being what I would consider "colicky" at 4pm-8pm to something completely different, crying or whimpering non-stop from 7am-6pm or later and not napping at all unless she's held.

The Judy and I have been brainstorming things we could try.  We took her to the doctor to get her ears checked.  We gave her a few droppers full of The Judy's patented vinegar cocktail for a UTI (the doctor suggested she might have one and wanted to catheterize her for a urine sample...umm...no thanks).  We switched her formula to soy.  Oh, and we might have borrowed some prescription medicine for acid reflux from someone in the valley.

She just screamed through it all and started spitting up even more - especially with the soy formula.  I can't really blame her since the soy mix smells like a cross between fish flakes and cat food.

So, imagine my surprise when they announced on the news last night that Similac had issued a recall for powder formula due to the fact that there's "a remote chance the formula might contain bug parts".

Awesome.

Nothing like a side of beetle larvae to go with your baby's brewski.

They said the only real side effect is gastrointestinal distress.

Oh, that's it? Just a little gastrointestinal distress???

Similac, I hate you.

The Judy and I made the 110 mile round trip to Elko today (couldn't they have issued the recall when I was closer to a store?) to return the recalled formula - one brand new box and one nearly empty box - to the local Walmart.

I was standing in line at the service counter when I noticed that the lady in front of me had nearly a cart full of Similac that she was apparently returning as well.

She stepped to the counter, along with her two friends, both Walmart employees, and started adding up the total.

Then her Walmart employee friend and the Walmart employee behind the counter started talking about how she'd gotten the entire cart-full of formula for free from WIC.

Everyone involved thought it was a pretty good trick - exchanging all $240 of formula for a Walmart gift card and then heading back to the WIC office to load up on more free formula.

Whoa.  Wait.  Are you seriously discussing defrauding a government program right here for all the world to hear?

My bloody tax dollars are going toward that program, sister!  And your blankety-blank-blank-blank $240 Walmart credit!

But wait, it gets worse.

When I approached the counter, the same lady who'd helped the defrauder was helping me.

She told me she couldn't accept the returned formula without a receipt.

I just looked at her in disbelief and informed her that it had been recalled.

She acted like she didn't know. 

Oh, what?  It's been recalled?

Ok, lady, how stupid do you think I am??  I just stood literally 1.5 feet away and watched you help the lady before me!

Then she said she could only take back the new box of formula, not the nearly empty one, even though both had been recalled.

I asked to talk to her manager.

All the sudden, it was just fine to take both.

Yeah it is, you jack wagon!

Give me my gift card.

And shame on you.

And that other lady, too.

I'm writing to Barack about you.

Quotations

A conversation with my four-year-old nephew:

Ian:  What are you going to be for Halloween?
Me:  I think I'll be a mom.
Ian:  But not a person?
Me:  Moms are people.
Ian:  I don't think so!


The Judy attended a potluck dinner for old people last week.  It was dubbed "candidate night" as there were several people who are running for public office that would be addressing the group.  One of the candidates is opposing Harry Reid for his senate seat.  Toward the end of his remarks, a little old lady stood up, and in reference to something he'd said, yelled, "Yeah, whatcha gonna do about it, asshole?"

What I Love About Home

1.  You can turn on the faucet and get a cold drink of water - no filtration or refrigeration required.

2.  My seven-month-pregnant sister still climbs fences.  When I was seven months pregnant, I thought I was going to die.

3.  You can open the windows to circulate the air without worrying about being robbed or cigarette smoke from either of your neighbors wafting in.

4.  Ninety-degrees in northern Nevada is nice and cool.  And dry.  And therefore, a less sweaty Erin.

5.  People here know me.  I don't have to tell a story to preface another story.

6.  It's fully light at 6am, making getting up with Carolyn a bit easier. 

7.  No one cares if you haven't done your hair. 

8.  Kirk Dahl can always be counted on to make you feel like a million bucks - today at church he said, "Congratulations on being a mother.  You are amazing.  Of course, you were always amazing."  Aw!  Thanks, Kirk Dahl!

9.  Fall canning of peaches, pears, and tomatoes with mom.  And by that, I mean that mom does all the canning while I sit and watch her.

10.  Preg testing.  The vet came and did 60 heifers on Friday.  I couldn't help but feel sorry for the cows.  I wanted to yell, "I feel ya, sister!"  I didn't really help at all.  And by that I mean that I did nothing but stand and watch.

Fancy

We've safely made it to the Valley of Ruby - land of no cell phone service and very slow Internet.

Turns out that Carolyn, much like her mamma, is an expert flyer.  She slept the entire flight, waking up only to be fed.

This gave me plenty of time to people watch, which really makes sitting in the airport, waiting for a delayed flight, worth it.

My seat mate's name was Natalie.

She was one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen - tall, thin, tan. 

She was a dancer of some kind.

She brought a bag of snap peas for a snack.

Really, tall, thin, Natalie?  Really?  Snap peas?

She also had a sterling silver bookmark with pink and purple beads attached to a drangonfly charm.

Of course!  I mean, I usually just dog-ear the page, but I guess that bookmark works, too.

I felt shabby next to her - what with my spit-up covered shirt and wet ponytail.

That was magnified three thousand times when she admitted that she had once wanted to be a flight attendant but it turns out she was too tall to apply.

Huh.

You don't say. 

I wanted to be a flight attendent, too, but it turns out I'm too beautiful.  Looks like we all have our own crosses to bear.

I was feeling pretty bad about myself.

Then she took off her shoes. 

And her socks were dirty.

I smirked.

All I could think was, "Well, Natalie, not so fancy now, are we?"

Check This Out

Every rancher I know has this thing - where they don't throw stuff away. 

Because what if they need it?

Or at least parts of it?

Therefore, all ranches have a "junk pile" that isn't junk at all to the person who put it there.

On top of that, most ranches have several vehicles or pieces of equipment that have been pulled out in the sagebrush where they're "stored" until they're needed.

My dad was no exception.

Ever since I can remember, the very back of our shed was occupied by not one, but two old station wagons from the late 1970's/early 1980's (the newer of which was replaced as the family car by a sweet suburban - the one where dad artfully attached sticky letters to the bug shield to read "Neffites".  Just so you know, we also had a sign above the cattle guard that read, "Neffada - Home of the Loch Neff Monsters").

And, for years and years, my brother Jared talked about taking at least one, if not both of the station wagons and turning them into demolition derby cars.

Dad always acted personally injured that Jared would even suggest such a thing.

I guess that's come to an end, because check this out:

What used to look something like this:

Now looks like this (thanks to Neff's Diesel Repair...open for your business in Elko, Nevada):

And it's entered in the 2010 Elko County Demolition Derby.

To see The Paul Neff Grocery Getter in action, go here. 

*Photo and video compliments of Aunt Chris.