Thursday, November 14, 2013

Aaaaand...It's Almost Over

1.  I fail to understand the reasoning behind weekly doctors visits once you hit week 35.  All it is is 2 hours of waiting for like five minutes with the doctor wherein he asks if you're feeling ok and all you want to do is punch him in the throat because DO I LOOK LIKE I'M FEELING OK?  I'M REALLY, REALLY BLOODY PREGNANT.

2.  So, for future kids, I'm just going to ask if I can call THEM if something is wrong.  Maybe they'll let me take the little heart monitor thingy home so I can check on the little one any time I want.

3.  The good news is my blood pressure is so good, they don't even know what to do with me.  In fact, today, it was even a little on the low side.  I almost did a fist pump.

4.  Also good?  My weight.  Well, I mean, good for a pregnant lady who was chubby before she got pregnant.  I weighed myself at the gym today and I was a good four pounds heavier by their scale and I was all like, "WTF, man!  How can I have gained THAT much weight in a single week?!"  Turns out I hadn't.  The gym scale is stupid.  Anyway, I'm up about 6 pounds with this pregnancy, which is a few more than I was up with the last one, but then again, I puked all 9 months with the last one, so that's not too shabby, right?

5.  The reason I was weighing myself at the gym is because I'm doing the Maintain Don't Gain competition - you can't gain more than 2 pounds over the holidays.  And guess who's going to rock that because pretty soon, I'm going to pop out a kid?!  This girl!  I'll do pretty much anything for a free t-shirt.

6.  I'm soooooooo happy this pregnancy is almost over.  I honestly don't remember hurting this bad last time - like my back and hips....Oy Vey!  Sometimes I'm just walking along and all the sudden, my hip feels like it's on fire and then I limp around until I feel better, which usually takes until the next morning.  Of course, with the last pregnancy, I pretty much did absolutely nothing the entire time I was pregnant, so maybe that's the difference.

7.  On Monday, I had some wicked Braxton Hicks contractions while I was at work.  I kept having to give my clients the "wait a second" signal while I bent over and tried to breathe.  It was miserable.  But, I got home, drank about a gallon of water, took a bath, and BAM!  All better.

8.  Since I've been so freaked out about breastfeeding again, I joined a local breastfeeding support group on Facebook.  I've already learned some really good things from the forum.  However, I have also seen a multitude of pictures of naked breasts.  Um.  I'm sorry, but that's just something I don't care to see.

9.  I started packing my hospital bag just so I wouldn't forget anything this time.  I refuse to be as uncomfortable as I was last time.  Husband thinks I'm a nut bar for starting so early.  Carolyn, on the other hands, thinks I'm brilliant.  She's even helping me pack - things like bowls, sunglasses, and lots of string-like things for "tying up the baby".

10.  I need a massage.  And a mani/pedi.  And someone to do my hair.  Because I need to look fabulous while giving birth.

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