Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Forgotten Pictures

I've been combing through old pictures, and look at what I found:

Don't ask me why I take pictures of sticks that I peed on, but I do. 
Probably because at the point I took this picture, I was feeling especially desparate.
I mean, we'd been trying to have another kid for 18 months - including over a year of crappy hormone replacement therapy and fertility drugs that made me meaner than a junk yard dog.  And also very, very sweaty all the time.  You'd probably have to be an expert to tell that I was sweating more than usual, but I was. 
And then, just like that, I thought, "This is absolutely ridiculous!  I refuse to feel this way anymore!  If Heavenly Father wants us to have another kid, he's going to have to step in here because I am finished with this medicine."
Then, one month later, I thought I was late for my period but didn't really know because I thought I'd been late like nine times in the last 18 months but had just miscounted...and I didn't want to take yet another pregnancy test and be completely let down and have crying jag on the bathroom floor (which I totally blame on the medicine, not on me being mentally unstable...I mean, I wasn't, right?).
But, a friend had given me some old pregnancy tests that she wasn't going to use, so I thought, "What the hell, right?" and I did it anyway even though the tests were expired.
And then I sat and sat and sat and stared at those stupid tests and nothing happened. 
And I thought to myself, "Well, what did I expect?" and got in the shower.
And when I got out of the shower, I moved to throw the tests in the trash like the garbage they were when I noticed that there actually were two lines.  On both tests (because you know you can't take just one at a time).
Oh, I was terrified.
Because what if it wasn't real?
What if it was?
What if I'm seeing things?
What if the tests are just really old and it's a false positive?
And so I freaked out more, snapped that picture and sent it to Husband with the text reading, "So.  Look at what I got this morning."
And he text back and said, "What are those?"
Um!  What are they indeed!
"They're pregnancy tests.  Postive ones."
And then he called me up and I cried and cried on the phone going on and on about what if it's true and what if it's not true and what if it's a false positive and blah, blah, blah.
And he thought I was a freakin' nut bar and assured me that he'd come home for lunch with a newer pregnancy test that I could take and FOR THE LOVE calm the hell down.
And so, this:

And then I cried some more because HOLY CRAP, I'm pregnant and whose idea was this?
And then I remembered that it was mine.
And that is the whole story, whether you wanted it or not.

1 comment:

Holli said...

I love the "when we found out we were pregnant" stories. :) So sweet. I think that anytime you get a positive - whether you've been trying or not trying - it's a shocker!