This Week on Facebook

Every time I get upset when I'm sassed at by a mean old person I have to remember the solemn vow I've already made to become one of them one day.


So. A small Asian woman tried to take The Female Prison Guard's spot in Zumba today. I was all like, "Dude, do you not SEE The Female Prison Guard? She has tats. And she tosses inmates around for fun. Out of all the people in the room, she's the one you've chosen to mess with? REALLY?"


The Kid has just informed me that she's going to go get a job. As Spider Woman.


For someone who has no pets, I spend an inordinate amount of time at PetSmart. The Kid digs the lizards.


The Kid this morning as I was prepping the raw turkey for the oven, "Hey! What happened to that turkey? I think it got a haircut."


Had my first Black Friday experience on Thursday night. I barely made it inside the Walmart front door when I was sharply elbowed by some woman who screamed, "I just can't believe some people can be so rude!" Um...say what?


Because sometimes being a mother isn't awesome enough, The Kid just painted us a lovely picture on the wall...with her own poo.


I just asked The Kid if she wanted to start a piggy bank for all the loose change she finds around the house. She brought me a giant Rubbermaid container and said, "Ok, I'ma full this up with monies." Well. As long as we're talking about money, I guess we may as well be optimistic...


The Kid walks up to me this morning and says, "I really want a sister." I said, "You want a sister??" And she said, "No, I just want a peanut butter and jelly samowich." Whew. Now a sandwich is something I can do something about.