Today was crappy.
Here's how it happened:
1. My knee hurts. So I tossed and turned pretty much all night long trying to get comfortable.
2. I woke up at 5am after having a nightmare about Husband leaving me and joining a group of polygamists. I joined them, too, in an effort to get Husband back. Then, they tried to marry me off to a crusty old man who already had four wives.
3. Just as I was drifting back to sleep at 6:30, Carolyn started to wail.
4. Her diaper had leaked - all over her sheets and every, single blanket she insists on sleeping with.
5. I got up and hobbled around doing housework.
6. I decided to rest my knee and not go to the gym.
7. I immediately became depressed and despondent.
8. I went to the gym anyway.
9. I joined the Zumba class and looked like an utter idiot, trying to "take the moves down" to where my knee wouldn't feel worse.
10. It totally didn't work.
11. I left early, came home, showered, and raced to The Hood for a meeting for a church assignment.
12. They served a grody lunch.
13. Carolyn managed to eat a plate full of chips and a chocolate chip cookie.
14. Then she wiped her dirty hands all over my shirt and shorts.
15. Right during the middle of the meeting, she started yelling, "Mama! WEE! WEE!" and trying to jump off her chair into my lap.
16. I held her down in my lap until I suddenly felt very warm and wet.
17. Carolyn's diaper had leaked all over my legs.
18. I smelled like pee.
19. I didn't have a change of clothes for either of us.
20. I left the meeting early, raced home, changed clothes, and again raced to the babysitter's house to drop Carolyn off.
21. Upon arrival, The Babysitter's Son immediately shoved Carolyn down and she started to cry and hang onto my leg.
22. I extracted her and left her screaming.
23. I was late to my first appointment.
24. The client's new kitten bit my finger.
25. I was late to my second appointment.
26. The client's cable was out and therefore, we missed our afternoon ritual of watching Access Hollywood.
27. I was late to my third appointment.
28. The client talked the entire time about why she doesn't like me and how much she liked her previous massage therapist.
29. I was late coming home.
30. My knee hurts. Still.