Attention Grabbing!

If I was going to be completely honest with myself and everyone around me, I'd have to go ahead and admit publicly that I am an attention hog.

HOG.

I love to be the center of attention in pretty much every situation.

It's something that I've been working on for the past couple of years because really, no one likes that girl.


It's a habit that developed pretty young because I didn't think I had anything else to offer other than being "the funny one".

That's what happens when you grow up with beautiful, clever siblings.

Then I realized that I'm not too awfully stupid myself.

But, despite my best efforts, most of the time, I'm too loud, probably offensive in my proliferations on occasion, and sometimes talk over other people.

I do get a kick out of myself, however, and that's the most dangerous kind of attention hog to be.

All this being said, there are a few social situations that just scare me to no end.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind making a fool of myself in front of large groups of people, but there are times when I try to make myself as small as possible so I don't have to.

Well...

Yesterday I was speaking to the Zumba instructor about how I'm a frustrated cheerleader and all.

I may or may not have joked with her that I was going to try out for the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleading Squad.

I may or may not have punctuated that proclamation with a very clumsy high kick and a turn around the aerobics room waving to the mirrors.

This morning during the last track of Zumba, she invited me up on the stage to shake my stuff/show off my potential tryout moves.

Let me tell you, doing a choreographed dance in front of that many people struck fear into my heart.

It was all I could do to not stop, drop, and roll.

Of course, I didn't want to appear chicken, either.

So, up I went thinking, "Really, how bad can this be?"

How bad?

BAD.

Parading my I-already-sweat-through-my-shirt self around on that stage was nothing less than mortifying.

Even if I could have remembered the moves to the dance, I can barely do them.

Sweat was literally dripping in my eyes.

And GOOD GRIEF how long is this bloody song?!

I tried to just smile my way through it, but I was so tired about halfway through, I thought I was going to fall out.

When the song was finally over, my legs were so shaky, I could barely get off the stage and hide myself back in my corner where I belong.

After the class was over, I received a call from the sweet-as-can-be instructor telling me what I great job I'd done and was I not so thankful I'd overcome one of my fears?

First of all, you're a liar, and second of all, I haven't overcome my fears because I will never be doing that again thank-you-very-much.