The One Where I Start a New Job

I totally started my new job this week.

I'm working with three wheelchair bound ladies doing massages in their homes.

My very favorite client's most used word is "ass".

She has a pretty thick accent and also has a pronounced slur.

The first thing she said when I walked in the door yesterday was, "Did I tell you I busted my ass yesterday?"

And today she said, "That Pizza Hut is pretty damn good!"

Oh, man, did I giggle.

It's probably the best job I've ever had.

Although, there is A LOT of driving involved.

The other day, I had to drive across the Rainbow Bridge to get to where I was going.

I was so scared, I almost wet my pants. 

I was going 40 miles per hour, hands gripping the wheel, cars whipping around me, chanting, "I'm sorry, cars!  I can't go any faster, cars!"

It's unnatural for cars to be that far off the ground.

As a super fun side benefit to taking the route over the bridge, I also got a sweet tour of the hood of Port Arthur.

I was going to roll down my window and yell, "YO!, what up, home boy!" to all the men I passed.

But I didn't.

Because I didn't really feel like being the newest homicide report on the evening news.