The One Where I Glory in Husband's Pain

1.  Today was Husband's two week post-hospital appointment, wherein my work as a wet-to-dry wound packing specialist would be evaluated.

2.  Let's just say I passed with flying colors.  The surgeon said it looks just how it's supposed to.  BAM!  I am a wound packing genius.

3.  We no longer have to pack the wound, just keep it covered.  That means the use of less tape on Husband's leg and therefore, less ripping out of hair in tender places.

4.  The bad news is that Husband had another spot on his right leg.  It looked just like the first one did.  We were both scared to death (him more than me) that there would be another admission to the hospital, another surgery, and another brand-new wound to pack.

5.  Instead, the surgeon just decided to see what would happen if he cut into it in the office.  Come to find out, it hadn't spread like the other one had and all it took was a simple incision and drainage. 

6.  Of course, the surgeon used a local anesthetic that didn't numb Husband at all.  We're pretty sure Husband is immune to local anesthetics and most by-mouth pain medications.

7.  It was all I could do during the draining portion of the procedure to not push the doctor out of the way and yell, "HERE!  LET ME DO THIS PART!" 

8.  The closest thing I can relate it to is when you have to drain a cyst on a cow and that yellow pus comes out and it's awesome.  I know, it sounds gross, but if you're a fellow picker, you're totally excited about it.

9.  Instead of packing this little wound, I get to shove hydrogen peroxide soaked Q-tips straight into it.  It's horrible.  Tonight, Husband squealed.  And I almost threw up.

10.  Since we are insurance-less patients, we had to talk to the office manager about our account.  Turns out, the office manager and her husband are in the same boat as we are - her husband needs heart surgery, has no insurance, and doesn't qualify for Medicaid either.  She could not have been more accommodating or honest with us.  It was a breath of fresh air.