Today, on the way to the bank, I got a call from work saying there was a man there who wanted a massage, could I come back and do one?
This is a normal occurrence.
I rushed back, met the man, and guided him back to the massage room.
I asked him what we'd be working on.
He indicated that he was hurting in his sciatic/buttock area and then inquired where the bathroom was.
When he came back and I stepped into the room, he said, "Oh, and I'm also having problems with my upper legs."
I said, "Your upper legs meaning where?"
He indicated his groin area.
He said he thinks he "strained" it.
I told him that by state law, I wasn't allowed to massage above a certain area on the leg.
Then he looked at me and whispered, "Oh, my friend told me to come here because you do massages on....the groin...and more."
I repeated that no, that kind of thing is against the law.
He said, "So, what you're saying is that you can't help my problems here (indicating his man parts)."
No, Creepy McCreeperson, I can't. Please leave and never come back.
He hightailed it out of there so fast, the girl at the front desk ran back to the room to see what had happened.
I was...I don't even know what the right word is.
Disgusted because the man was wearing a wedding ring. Sir, does your wife know you are soliciting sex in the middle of the day when you should be at work??
Angry because a lot of people still don't take my profession seriously.
Oh, and not to mention completely grossed out.
Later on in the day, The Owner's Brother asked me what had happened as we were standing right in the middle of the front lobby.
I tried to tell him quietly that the man had wanted a "groin" massage, so I'd asked him to leave.
The Owner's Brother didn't know what "groin" means.
So, I explained it.
And he loudly says, "OH! The man want you to massa his PEEEE-NUS! Why he want you massa his PEEEE-NUS?"
I tried shushing him, but he kept going on and on about the PEEEE-NUS.
Then he said that next time that happens to tell the man that yes, we do that kind of thing, but that it's the male therapist that does it.
I smacked him on the arm and said, "Ewwww! Henry! GROSS!"
"Oh, no, man! This is a joking!"
6 comments:
That. Is. Awesome.
We actually have a major issue with "massage" parlors in Utah. They've become very popular. David Archuletta's dad was caught in one.
I had two undercover officers come into work one night, with a 17 year-old girl who was working as a prostitute. She had advertised her services on Craiglist. Solicitation is a Class B misdemeanor. If you are giving a "massage" it was a felony. How crazy is that?
I can't stop laughing...it makes me think of all the yucky men who go into Basic Foods and ask for help with the "male products". Like WE know.
When I worked there, one of the local doctors made one of my coworker's life when he came in and asked, in a very heavy accent, "I need product to help wit ma deek. Ma deek is..., ma deek..., ma deek... ...etc." She said that every time he said "deek" she had to painfully snort back a laugh, despite how VERY uncomfortable she felt. I laugh hysterically every time I think about that...you'd think a doctor would at least employ a semi-medical vocabulary.
I know you were grossed out but this is so funny to me. I'm surprised you didn't grab things and start throwing them. I would have picked up my cell phone and dialed 9-1-1 to report solicitation. But it's still funny to me. I'm so sorry you had to experience that.
LoL. this was hilarious but I'm sorry it happened to you! You should definitely do what your boss said and say that the men therapist does it!
Gross! Gross! Gross!
Haha! That's too funny! I would have just asked him if he wanted a hand job and charged him an extra 100 bucks.
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