I Do For You

1.  I have absolutely no idea how I've gone so long without seeing this.  I think I might be the only one in America.  It's a glimpse into my daily life at the spa.  I nearly wet myself when I watched it.  It doesn't get funny until about a minute into it - feel free to fast forward.

2.  Speaking of my daily life at the spa, I made the mistake of telling The Owner's Brother yesterday that I was going to get something to eat before my next massage.  He basically forced me to go to McDonald's to get him a number 13 - a fish sandwich.  I told him I wasn't going to McDonald's, I was going to Chick-fil-A.  He just shook his head and said, "No, I like McDonald.  You go McDonald, get me numba thirteen. You come back, I wait for you."

3.  I honestly didn't mind going to McDonald's for him except for the fact that the closest McDonald's is located inside the local Walmart.  Without fail, every time I go to Walmart, someone in the parking lot asks me for money.  As I was driving into the parking lot, I saw the guy who would ask me and sure enough, as soon as I was ten steps from my car, he approached, telling me that his car had broken down and he and his pregnant wife were just trying to get home to Conroe.  He had these two gift cards from some place or another and told me that there was $15 on each one and I could have them if I'd just give him some money.  In the end, because I just happened to have earned a $5 tip earlier in the day, I gave him some cash and as I was walking away, he shouted, "God bless you, ma'am!"  You know the only thing I could think?  "Well, I hope God sends you to hell for scamming me."

4.  Carolyn is growing like a weed.  I think we're finally going to have to give up all hope and change her to an upright carseat.  I sooooo don't want to because she'll still sleep in her little carseat in public and if we switch out, I'll have to wrangle her instead.  And speaking of her getting bigger, I'm again in denial because it's time to go up a clothing size.  This morning I made Husband stuff her into a 6-9 month dress.  When we got to church, I realized that it was basically a miniskirt and the buttons in back were about to pop off.  If she was a teenager, I would have sent her back to her room to change.

5.  Oh, and wrangling Carolyn?  Yeah.  That's what I did all day at church today.  She squealed and squealed until I took her out of her carseat and then spent the next three hours trying to escape, get into other people's bags, and steal other kid's snacks.  By the time church was over, I was covered in sweat.

6.  I finally got my hot stones on Friday afternoon right before I left for work.  They've come in handy several times.  I used some on a lady who wanted a 1.5 hour deep tissue massage and she said it was the best massage she'd ever had.  It better have been.  Doing 90 minutes of deep tissue is like asking me to run a marathon with a gnome strapped to my belly.

7.  Saturday held the most interesting massage experiences I've ever had - two people who didn't speak English.  Um.  How am I supposed to know what they want??  One of them was possibly German because he answered every question I asked him with, "Yah!  I sink so!"  I called him Swen in my head.

8.  I made a spinach salad for our Harry Potter party Friday night.  I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who ate it and liked it.  Oh, and by the way, at the Harry Potter party, we didn't really watch Harry Potter.

9.  I saw the women from TLC's Extreme Couponing on the Today Show the other day.  One of them talked about how she was able to save 98% on her grocery bill every time she shopped.  Yeah, well, I went to the grocery store with an envelope full of coupons the other day and guess how much I saved.  Less than 10%.  Apparently I'm doing it wrong.

10.  I don't know why, but recently I've developed an irrational fear that I'm going to be the next lady on the news who's found a snake in her toilet or washing machine.  Now, I have to check carefully before I use either.