Black-Listed

I'm a horrible person.

Evil.

Wicked.

Naughty.

Basically a career criminal.

Here's the situation:

I've been meaning to re-join a gym for a couple of months.

However, with Husband graduating in May and looking for jobs outside the area, I didn't really want to sign a new contract.

Being the genius I am, I concocted a brilliant beyond brilliant plan.

I have a friend who doesn't use her gym membership.

So, we made a deal where I'd pay her what she pays, thereby "leasing" her gym pass for the next 3-4 months.

I was aware that they'd taken her picture when she'd signed her contract, but in my 15 years of gym membership, I've never seen anyone check the picture when you swipe your card.

Either way, it's no biggie, right?

If they're getting paid and we're not double dipping, there should be no problem.

Today, I strode purposefully into the gym, swiped my card, and headed for the treadmill section.

Less than a minute later, a gym employee asked me to come to the front desk.

Guess what?

Apparently at this gym, they do check pictures.

They made a big deal out of calling me out on it.

I explained the situation and the lady just gave me this look.

The um-this-is-so-not-permissible look.

She said there had to be paperwork.

And a transfer.

She asked if my friend knew I had her membership card and was actively using it.

Nope.

I'm the kind of friend who walks into people's houses and takes gym memberships off other people's key rings just to see if they'll notice it's gone.

Of course she bloody knows!

Anyway, they ended up confiscating the card, putting a hold on my friend's account and placing me on some kind of a list where I'm not allowed to work out there until this situation is resolved.

That's right, I've been black-listed.

I am a workout bandit.