I am on a rampage today.
This is something I normally wouldn't bring up because I know people have strong feelings about it.
But here's the deal: Why do people who don't want to take care of kids have kids in the first place?
I mean, like it's not that hard to not get pregnant.
I know I'm hypersensitive to all of this because I now have a child, but I've spoken to so many women who also have children who don't understand my desire to be at home with my baby.
And not only that, they're downright mean about it.
I've had several who've made rude remarks about how I can't stay after work, how I literally run out the door at 5, because I have a baby.
And that apparently is a bad thing.
I've even had one lady look at me in disgust when I told her that my family came first.
Oprah was interviewing her staff the other day in honor of her 25th and final season. She kept pointing out that most of her employees were working mothers. But then one lady said, "Oh, yeah, working for Oprah, there are times when I don't see my kids for weeks at a time. But it's ok, because when you work for Oprah, the work you're doing makes a difference."
A difference??
What about your family??
What kind of difference are you making to them?
I had another lady tell me that she barely ever saw her kids when they were growing up because she was at work all the time, but that she was almost always at their "functions".
As if that somehow made up for it.
As a result, her kids are closer to her sister-in-law, who raised them, than they are to her.
Don't get me wrong.
I understand that some women have to work to make ends meet.
Believe me, I get it.
I just happen to be one of those.
But what is this attitude that children are a hindrance, a nuisance, something that can be had and then placed in someone else's care without a second thought?
And that anyone who wants to be with their children is obviously crazy?
And why is it that being a stay-at-home-mom is so devalued?
I'll tell you right now that staying home with my baby for the first three months of her life was the hardest thing I've ever done. Working at a "real job" is fifty-five times easier.
Do people not realize that as more and more mothers are away from the home, the worse and worse society as a whole is becoming?
Maybe it's just the people I'm around, but good grief!
I'm so tired of feeling like I have to explain myself all the time.
Ugh.
Rampage complete.
*Side note: I'm only partially sorry for the amount of italicized words I used in this post.
8 comments:
I absolutely hate how everyone just assumes being a stay at home mom is taking the easy road. Having once been a single, working mom, I can honestly say that I find staying at home way more demanding. It is hard and constant, and as much as I think I can't wait to go back to work, I know that I would hate leaving my kids. I know that nobody else will care for them the way I do. Don't let society get to you, Erin. You are awesome, and your love for your family only increases your awesomeness!
In November, I was asked to speak on the Proclamation on the Family for Sacrament meeting. This was a hard subject for me because I've been divorced and know that families are NOT automatically forever AND that there is such a great diversity in how people define "family", but the thing that struck me in my prep was that "marriage is ordained of God and that the family is central to the creator's plan...the family is ordained of God. Marriage...is essential to his eternal plan." I'm know it's frustrating that not everyone knows this, or maybe they do at their core, and their justifying their own defiance. Either way, I'm thankful you are so frank and fiesty and full of love...mother bear. ;)
I agree with what you've said. I don't understand some people's point of view. I went to a function after work once that was all women celebrating women in the work force and I was furious the whole time because I wanted to leave to go be with my husband and I knew these women had children and I couldn't understand why they didn't want to go be with their children. Anyway, they are only small for a short time, why would you want to miss it? Thanks for writing, I love reading your thoughts!
You have nothing to be sorry about. You are correct on ALL points and while being a stay at home mom is harder, it is SO MUCH more rewarding then ANY job I have ever had.
I too hear "mothers" all the time soeak the same way about their children and it disgusts me. I do not understand how anyone could ever want to be away from their child/children, much less think it was okay to do so. THANK YOU for "ranting", I for one am VERY glad you did!!
I just happened on your blog today and want to say that I so agree with you. As an empty nester whose children are grown and gone I am happy to hear that there are mamas still out there who believe that their family comes first just as God had planned even if they need to work.. I had a cottage business while my children grew and I count it as blessing that I could be home with them. A mother will turn around twice and their wee ones are grown and gone and their time with them is over. That time is so precious so hold on to it, dear and don't worry what the world has to say...
Blessings..
I totally understand - and I agree 100% with all you wrote.
Not sure if you watched the Barbara Walters/Oprah interview last month? I found it VERY interesting when Barbara ask Oprah why she made a choice to not have children. Oprah said that she knew if she had children - because of her career - she'd rarely be home to be a mom. I thought that was interesting - and sad (yet honest). And then ... Barbara Walters told how that was her main regret in life - because she did have a daughter - yet was rarely there to spend time with her.
There is a great power in Women! And a greater power in Mothers!
We shape our society - and that's the honest truth! For all who desire a better nation - it will ALWAYS start in the HOME first!
"The hands that rock the cradle, rule the world."
Agreed. Every time a parent drops their kids off at the gym right after picking them up at daycare and says, "Oh she's just clingy because she's been in daycare all day", I want to be like, "YOU FREAKIN JERK. She misses you! Take her home!" ...then they max out the time limit.
I want to slap those moms.
And for all the times my friends made fun of my mom for staying home all day (more like, running errands for her kids all day)...I always just assumed they were secretly jealous. I hardly ever had to wait for my mom to come home from work 4 hours after I got home from school. It was/is a financial struggle, but I'm glad my parents were able to make it work (juuust barely).
I was going to go with a simple, "Amen" Because this is something that gets to me too. But that was already taken, so how about...
"AMEN SISTA!"
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