Oh, You're Sad Now?

1.  I already told you that I quit my job and ever since I've turned in my resignation, I'm basically a genius that can do no wrong.  As it turns out, everyone is just sooooo sad that I'm leaving.  Like even people I've barely talked to.  Oh, they're just moaning and carrying on about how much they will miss me.  Um, really??  What's your name again??  The one that did get to me was just now when The Mousey One confirmed that I was leaving and then teared up a little.  He said, "I hate that you're leaving."  Thanks Mousey.  I love you, too.  He has been my sanity.

2.  The Chinese Lady at work has all the sudden become a big part of my daily work life.  She's lived in America for over 40 years and still calls everyone "she".  For some reason, this confuses me greatly.  She keeps talking to me about The Interim (who is male) and saying, "When she want report, you tell me, ok?  She coming in 10 o'clock, ok?  You tell me when she get here, ok?"

3.  Have I mentioned that The Interim drives a Porsche?  He's fancy.  I'm so not fancy, I can't even spell Porsche.

4.  There's a giant box of keys on my desk that go to all of the vehicles allotted to this department.  I don't get to use the vehicles very often, but when I do, for some reason, even though I dig and dig through the keys, I always end up in the old junker minivan.  It clunks when you drive it.  The good news is that it can totally get up to at least 50 miles per hour if you floor it.  Whenever I drive it, people always get stuck behind me, which incites a riot of honking.

5.  One of my friends works in a department across campus.  I had to go over there to pick up some pictures the other day.  They have benches.  And fountains. And a nice little pond.  Oh, and their offices have windows. I had to hold back my biting, jealous remarks at how lucky they are. At my office, we just pray daily that the floor won't fall out from underneath us.

6.  Remember that old hick guy who bought my book about a month ago?  I'm going to hire him to be my publicist.  Every time he comes in now, he tells anyone who will listen that I've written a book.  And that it's so good.  He tells everyone that it's only the second book he's read since he was in college.  He's like 60 now.  I just love him.

7.  Carolyn has decided yet again that sleep if for the birds.  She slept until 5 for four nights straight after we started her on solids.  I thought we were in the clear.  Night-before-last she was up at 1, 3, and 4:30.  Last night she was up at 3 and 4:30. Why, why, why??

8.  And, remember how I bragged that the spitting up had lessened?  Yeah, not so much.  Over the last three days, she's been barfing just as much as she ever has.  The other day, I went to get her out of her crib and she was literally swimming in vomit.  Nothing like a baby who's thrown up and then rolled in it.

9.  I'm so tired of living in an apartment.  This morning, I could hear my neighbor peeing.  The good news is that even though he's a single male, he put the toilet seat down.

10.  I hate the hospital.  Yesterday we got a notice that our account is overdue and will soon be passed to a collection agency.  I've talked to them twice already and have set up payment plans but apparently no one sees a need to note that in their system.  I had to call again today to remind them of our arrangement.  The lady said it's totally taken care of.