I'm the Smartest Person I Know

1.  I just love being put in the middle of stuff.  Especially passive-aggressive stuff.  Where I have no clue what's going on.  The powers that be at work oppose each other on a regular basis.  It usually happens right over the top of my desk.  I sit here and think, "Oh, good grief!  Can you please talk to one another like adults, make a decision, and then give me the work??"

2.  I used the snot sucker on Carolyn all by myself today.  It was grody.

3.  My office sits about 400 meters from the university's basketball arena marquee.  For the past two weeks, they've listed people's names on the marquee along with "Football POW", "Band POW", etc.  I thought it was for one of those fund raisers where they "put people in jail" and then you have to donate cash to get them out.  I just found out that in this case POW means "player of the week".  Yeah, I'm pretty much the smartest person I know.  Anyway, this caused me to wonder what you have to do to become the band POW.  Like do you have to blow your horn with extra gusto or something?

4.  To my child and future child(ren): I don't really do vomit, so if you happen to toss your cookies, you will have to clean it up yourselves.

5.  You know those girls who look smashing even with their hair in one of those messy ponytails?  I'm totally not one of those.  Mostly when I do that, I just look like I haven't showered.  In a year.

6.  In the past week, I've gone from the-girl-who-sits-at-work-and-plays-on-the-Internet to a semi-purchasing agent.  Uh-huh, ME.  They are now training me to do purchase orders.  Soon to follow will be access of my very own to the purchase order system and the campus work order system.  This makes me laugh for two reasons: 1.  I've worked here for over a year and they finally just now trust me enough to give me access. 2.  If there's anyone on the face of the planet who shouldn't be allowed to input purchase orders, it's totally me.  Because I'm horrible with little details and numbers of any kind.

7.  And speaking of purchase orders, I still have no idea what I'm doing.  They have yet to show me the process from start to finish (and believe me, there are at least 352 steps) so everything is all mixed up in my mind.

8.  The HR lady at the office kind of scares me a little bit.  But, she has a candy basket of good candy on her desk.  Sometimes I need some.  So I watch the clock until I know she's at lunch and then go to her office to raid the basket.

9.  My body still randomly expels breastmilk.  Yesterday, some of it got on my clothes, but I didn't have time to change before going to work.  At lunch, I was sitting out on the porch eating my delicious corn bread when I was accosted by the wild work cats.  I thought they wanted my corn bread.  Nope.  One of them climbed right up onto my lap and started to try to nurse the part of my shirt that had the dried breastmilk on it.  It was hysterical and at the same time, completely humiliating.  It might have made me feel a little like a milk cow.

10.  I forgot my lunch today.