Dear Dad,

I can't believe you've been gone for an entire year. 

I miss you.

I still think about calling you sometimes and it always catches me completely by surprise when I realize that I can't.

The baby came.

Carolyn Judith.

Named after two women I love.

We never call her either name, though.  That's a name she's going to have to grow into.  Instead we call her Baby Girl, Little Bit, and Sugar.

I would have named her Paula.  Or Paulo.  Or Paulette.  But um, I think those are weird names.  Maybe I should have gone for Paul-O-Rama.

The Doctor thought she was never going to come.

I have this belief - it may be sac-religious - but I always want to think that when babies are still in the womb and they're "sleeping", they're really flitting back and forth to heaven.  Receiving final orders.  Spending time with the ones they love there. 

If that were the case, I wouldn't want to come out either.  I would hang on until eviction.

And although I'm glad she had you there, I really would rather have you here instead.  I would have liked to watch you hold her.  I wish you were going to be here to bless her at church. 

Love,

Erin