Dear The Lentil -
Ok, here's the deal. Um, you're going to need to get it through your thick skull that you should be dropping into my pelvis like a normal baby, not staying up in my ribs like BBQ sauce. Because I have never been mediocre at anything. And today The Doctor told me that he is "discouraged with my progress". I will not be dubbed a bad baby haver just because you're stubborn.
From,
Your Loving Mother
Dear The Doctor -
I have just given The Lentil an ultimatum. Please recognize my efforts. And please, let's never say to me again, "You have a 60% chance of having to have a c-section because your baby's not dropping." Oh, and please don't use the word "disappointing" when referring to my cervix. It's doing it's very best, I promise. Mmmmmkay, killer?!
Gracias,
Girl Who's Trying Hard
Dear Motherhood (the clothing store),
Just because people are only pregnant for a certain amount of time - not that I'm talking about me, because I'll be pregnant FOREVER - you still have no excuse to make crappy clothes that fall apart in the washing machine.
Sincerely,
The Girl That's Tired of Picking Strings Out of Her Aggitator (that sounds worse than it is)
Dear People I Work With,
Please stop watching me like a goldfish in a bowl. Good gosh, but this is the reason I took the job on the other side of the building - so I wouldn't have to work with other women! Oh, and here are the subjects you are no longer allowed to bring up: the condition of my cervix, placenta, uterus, or mucus plug. What, when, where, or how I eat. How good or bad I look on any given day. Whether or not my face is as swollen as my ankles. Your birthing stories. The fact that, while I've been sick every day of this pregnancy, you were not sick for one day of any of yours.
Yes, I'm STILL Pregnant and NO, I'm Not Calling You When I'm Not,
Erin
Dear Netherlands Soccer Team,
I wanted so badly to root for you last night. Because you wear orange and I graduated from Wells High School where I used to wear orange, too. And also because you spell your names with random j's that I don't know how to pronounce. Like Bjorn. So instead, I just call you Larry in my head. Then I laugh like a loon at myself because I think I'm so funny. Anyway, what I was saying was that I wanted to root for you, but after the first 43 yellow cards, I had to switch my allegiance to the Spaniards. Because they weren't cheating as bad as you. And they didn't spend 45 minutes talking to the bald referee during the game. And also because they had that one player who admitted that he wears his hair long because he is "self-concious about the size of his ears" and that's funny to me.
Sorry For The Switch,
For the Love of Pete, STOP WHINING ALREADY
7 comments:
I don't like your Doctor. He seems way to eager to do a C-section! You aren't even at your due date yet, and isn't inducing labor the first thing they do...not suggest a C-section!
Babies come when they are ready. Hang in there...I don't envy you the hot, humid Texas weather at 9 months pregnant! Best of luck to you as you start on the most wonderful adventure of your life.
I was rooting for the Dutch as well (for obvious reasons, I'm 1/2 Dutch) Britain has big vanHeeringen
ears. I hope he doesn't grow his hair long to hide them.
Good Luck with the baby! Don't rush into a c-section if you don't NEED one.
Oh Erin, I'm sorry that baby's taking forever. I know it's weird but I imagine her talking in-utero exactly like Nick and saying, "I'll come out when I'm ready, ok?"
I'm also bewildered by all the talk about c-section. Why? Ask to be induced. They can break your water, I hate typing this... but do something called... "stripping your membranes (sounds so gross), or there's always pitocin. I know it sucks but it sucks a lot less than a c-section and being miserably over your due date. And, what's all this worry with dropping? Gabi hadn't "dropped" when I was induced and I pushed her into sunshine with no problems. You know what really drops babies? Contractions. You know what starts contractions? Pitocin!
Bring me to your next dr. appointment. I'll let 'em know.
Oh, I'm not worried about having to get a c-section. I think the Neff genes will kick in, my water will break, the baby will drop, and BAM! BABY PETERS! If that doesn't happen, we will, of course, try induction first. We're fans of the Pitocin. Not of the stripping of membranes, however. I'm just tired of being pregnant...and tired of people telling me what to do to not be pregnant anymore!
I agree with Krista, (of course). Why is your doctor so eager for a C-Section. You're not even overdue yet! Most doctors would allow you to go at least a week past your due date, and THEN talk about inducing, not C-sections.
Best of luck with it all!
When i still had 3 weeks to go with Payson, people kept calling me asking if I had had him yet. I stopped answering my phone and changed my voice mail message to say, "Hi. You've reached Justin and Heather Porter. If you are calling concerning the blessed event of our child, it has not yet happened. When it does, we will call you." Yeah, I was kinda bitter. :) Hang in there chica.
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