I Swear I Have ADD

I swear to you I have ADD. 

I also used to swear that I'm hypoglycemic - no one believed me, so I had The Doctor do the blood tests and now I have documented medical proof.

I don't know what tests I need to prove I have ADD and more than likely, I'll never get any because I already have to have a baby, then see if I have a hiatal hernia, and then get my teeth cleaned.  I figure I will be finished paying for those things sometime in 2015.

Anyway, I have the most random thought patterns of anyone I know.  You probably couldn't tell because I'm good at hiding it and acting like I've got it together.  Ok, so that's a lie.

Here are just some things I've been thinking today:

1.  I wish I was on the Verizon network so I could have a Droid phone.  Mostly so I could walk around with it, shoving it in people's faces and shouting, "DROID DOES!" 

2.  I wonder if, when people are talking to me, they're looking at my fetus induced beard and wondering why I don't do something about it.

3.  I ate my first home-grown cucumber of the season last night.  I ate the entire thing by myself because I only recently found out Husband doesn't even like cucumbers.  He also doesn't like eggplant.  Or tomatoes really.  Good thing I asked him what he'd eat before I planted my garden.

4.  Because I ate a cucumber last night, I had to look up the nutritional facts on it today.  Turns out cucumbers have little to no nutritional value at all.

5.  I love it when Husband sends me love texts during the day.

6.  The feral cats are finally back after they were chased off by the stray dogs last week.  I sure am glad.  I missed them. Although, The Swatter Cat has now taken to biting my toes every time I try to pet her, and I don't like that.  She must think they're delicious Lil' Smokies.

7.  I wish it would just rain already.  It's been gray, humid, windy, and yucky for the last four days.  It's wrecking my hair.

8.  Everyone at work is making fun of the pillow I brought to work on Monday.  I bet they wish they had one.

9.  I'm remembering fondly the days past where I could actually sleep all night long without waking up.  I'm also remembering fondly the days where I didn't have to wear ear plugs or take Tylenol PM to do so.  It's been years.

10.  I'm going to have to step up my meat intake for real.  I keep wondering why I feel so bad - until I ingest a giant chunk of meat - and then I feel better.