Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Letter of Complaint

I've decided.

I'm totally going to write a letter of complaint to the Head Massager Person at the State Capital. The one who makes all of the rules about massage and therefore tells me that I have to launder my sheets after every use.

Whatever.

Do they know how much laundry that is?

Anyway.

Like I said, I'm totally complaining.

Not about sheets.

I'm going to complain about my massage instructor.

Because I paid $4500 to go to school and about the only thing he wanted to talk about on a nightly basis was sex. And porn.

And other inappropriate topics.

He made me believe if I wanted my class time to count, I had to eat at Casa Ole on Wednesday nights with the rest of the students when we should have been at the school. I would have been fine with that but Casa Ole sucks.

But the real reason I'm complaining is because I found some sample questions from the national test I'm expected to pass when I finish my internship.

HOLY KEEE-RAP, people

There are words on there I've never even heard.

I mean, I assume I would have heard them had the teacher, you know, like actually taught instead of just handing me some poorly contrived power point slide printouts and said, "Look this over and if you have any questions, ask me."

Like I would ask him anyway.

He didn't know anything.

Three days ago, before seeing the sample test, I was actually entertaining the possibility of researching physical therapy assistant schools.

Not now.

How can I be a PTA when I can't even pass the exam for massage therapists?

Yeah.

I'm totally complaining.

And I'm looking to purchase the answer key for the test. You know, just in case anyone has it.

4 comments:

Porter Family said...

I totally think you would make a great PTA. Seriously. I know you can do anything you put your mind to. If I can do it, you most certainly can! Uh, did your instructor ever get fired? Maybe you can call a licensed massage therapist and ask for a few hours of tutoring before taking the exam. Who knows? Good luck, dearie.

Erin said...

Yes, they fired The Instructor but unfortunately not until my course work was finished.

I've found some pretty good resources on the internet to study for the massage test. It's just a shame I'm going to have to learn 3/4 of the stuff on my own that I should have learned in class.

Someone told me the other day that massage therapists are also qualified to be PTAs. Have you ever heard that?

Porter Family said...

Someone smoked something illegal, because that isn't true. Completely different licensing requirements. PTA school takes two years (that's with your BS already done) and there are only a few times that we actually use massage to facilitate treatment of a patient. Anyways, there are some similarities, but it always really bugged me when patients would come in for treatment and want a 30 minute deep tissue massage and expect me to do it. Dude, I would much rather send you to that qualified professional and get rid of your ailment with things I actually learned in school. :) The other difference is that in most states you need a doc's referral to see a PT. Anyways, can you tell I have had to field this before? The other big one that always gets me in a tither is when someone says that Chiropractors and PTs are the same. THEY AREN'T!!!!!!! :) Did you ever send me your address for your prizes? I'll have to go through my email again. My apologies. I'll try to think of a new game, too.

Erin said...

It's ok, man. I also get fired up about the chiropractor/PT thing. I actually had a chiropractor come into the massage school tonight while I was preparing for one of my massages - he said something about only chiropractors knowing proper anatomy to heal. Ummm...who the hell are you again??