I don't understand tattoos.
While they might be cool and hip when you're 18, by the time you're 36 they've either gone out of style or been disfigured by your changing body.
That's right.
That dolphin you had put around your belly button the night you graduated from high school?
It now looks like a beluga whale.
And the daisy on the back of your calf?
It looks like a lily.
I came in contact with a young, very large African-American lady who-smells-like-moth-balls today. Her entire body is tattooed.
The most prominent tattoo is inked in bright red right across her massive breasts which she showed off with a very nice low cut shirt that read, "DELICIOUS BROWN SUGA'".
As if her clothing didn't already overstate her level of attractiveness, her tattoo reads, "S E X Y".
Ummm...that's fine when you're 25.
Maybe even when you're 35. If you don't already smell like moth balls.
Or, if you need a permanent fixture somewhere on your body to remind yourself you have very high self-esteem as to your sexual appeal, maybe you could tattoo it backwards like they do on the front of ambulances so when you look in the mirror it will turn right side up.
There's just one problem.
Can you imagine having that tattooed on your chest when you're 80?
Come on, man!
What were you thinking?
2 comments:
My brother wanted a tattoo when he was 16. Where, you ask? On his butt. He wanted "CTR" with the "T" going down his crack. Just so when he mooned people he could remind them to Choose the Right. Wouldn't that look interesting when he's 80, his butt sags, and it looks more like "OLP" or "OID" or some other non-sensical phrase? BTW, the tattoo never happened.
Went to the water park with the kiddos on Saturday and saw more skin that I need to... ever. So many interesting things to read and look at though that have been needled and inked into what would be otherwise beautiful bodies. My favorite was some young mother of two with the phrase "lil bit of heaven" inked right above her bikini line... nice. Explain that one to your three-year-old daughter, why don't ya?!
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