My favorite parts of church today were:
1. I made the mistake of going to the bathroom directly after Sacrament Meeting. My very favorite older lady, who doesn't close the bathroom stall door also goes to the bathroom directly after Sacrament Meeting. If you walk in front of her stall, she chats you up as if everything is completely normal, never taking into account that you might think that a half naked woman chatting at you in the church bathroom is a little strange.
After I had finished my business and was washing my hands, she started to yell, "Help! I can't get up!"
I had to go into the stall, help her off the toilet and pull her pants up as she claimed that her "hands don't work".
2. One of the Children From Hell couldn't be quiet during Primary Sharing Time. They were talking about the plan of salvation when the teacher asked who else was in Heaven with Jesus. Someone shouted out, "SATAN!"
Then she asked what another name for Satan is. Child From Hell raised his hand and yelled, " OH! I KNOW! It's ETHAN!"
3. The only bag I could find this morning to contain the massive amounts of Play-Doh I bought to bribe the kids in my class was a Victoria's Secret bag. The entire lining of the bag features women in their underwear. I hoped no one would notice.
The first kid I sat by during Primary looked at me, looked at my bag, and then said to another teacher, "Hey, this lady has naked girls in her purse!"