Tuesday, February 03, 2009

You Really Should Leave Me Alone

I'm sick and you really should leave me alone. Here are the only reasons you can talk to me:

1. You've found the HGTV team down the street looking for my house so they can inform me that I've won the HGTV dream home. I might even let you be on TV with me when they tell me. And you can pretend that we're friends and we can scream and hug each other.

2. You are choking on a piece of meat and you need me to find someone who can dislodge it. I tell you that I will but only after I extract a sign language promise from you that after you are done choking, you will bake me red velvet cupcakes.

3. You have received word that a troop of baboons has been spotted in the parking lot and that they are currently advancing on my car (those ballsy baboons can do a lot of damage).

If it's anything else, it's going to have to wait until tomorrow, preferably after 9am.

2 comments:

Porter Family said...

does that mean you don't want anyone leaving comments either? :) Hope you're feeling better.

Riley, Lindsay & Ava said...

At least your boogers left the premises with you....there is no shame in it. That lady next to you just probably had a stick up her butt. Wiping them under the desk on multiple occasions, one after another, over and over again, is simply not dignified in any way! (even if you live in Rexburg...or Beaumont!)