The Doctor and I are celebrating our two year anniversary today. Naturally, he is unaware of this momentous occasion and therefore, has failed to bring me any type of a gift. I asked for a million dollars.
I know I've said this approximately 900 billion times, but two years ago when I took this job, I saw it as a six month gig wherein I would certainly find another job that I could flit to with no effort whatsoever.
The good news is that over the past year or so I've come to the realization that there are some good things about working at The Doctor's Office:
1. All the free pens and post-it-note pads you could ever want thanks to the drug reps (apparently this is coming to an end thanks to a new, stupid law that prohibits them from soliciting our business).
2. Plenty of time to blog - of course, I now have to blog sneakily.
3. All the unsolicited advice you could ever want about politics and religion - at no extra cost to you.
4. The Lab Ladies - they are the only people whom I have ever met who don't terrify me when I see a needle in their hands.
5. The ICD9 book - nothing like looking up diseases when you have nothing else to do. This is how I found out that there's such a thing as "beer drinker's disease", which I do not have, just in case you are wondering.
6. Pregnancy tests - The Doctor does one on me about once every 2-3 months just for the hell of it. And, even though they always come back negative, he is still always convinced that I am pregnant anyway. Apparently he thinks I am an elephant and will stay pregnant for 2 1/2 years.
7. The patients - sometimes, you can't help but laugh at them. And yes, even love some of them.
8. Free plastic cutlery is provided in the break room.
9. A new refrigerator with an ice maker. Of course, if you bring your Nalgene bottle, you have to wait for the ice to melt before you can have something to drink because 35% of the time the water coming out of the tap is a lovely shade of brown.
10. The fact that they still have medical records in the garage from 1979. Really. I keep trying to tell them that they're only required to keep records for 7-10 years. Twenty-nine year old charts really are too much to stomach.
11. The Receptionist - she's about the only one in this office who keeps me sane rather than driving me insane.
12. Two weeks of paid vacation - this is the first time I've ever worked anywhere long enough to get two weeks of vacation. The only problem is that I've already used all of it in my head and I still don't have enough time to do everything I want to do.
13. I really never have to worry about being fired. He's never fired anyone. Not even the nurse who wrote prescriptions for controlled substances for herself. Or the one who used his credit card without permission.