Dear Christmas Shoppers,
I'm doing my best to not harbor any hard feelings against you for not knowing the main social rules. Really, I am. I'm not a mean person, but I do expect a certain level of civility. Yes, even during the holidays.
I'm going to go ahead and establish some rules to avoid this situation next year:
1. No more grandmas on motorized carts. Today my left foot was run over not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES by a grandma who obviously thought I was moving too slowly. Listen grandma, you have to move with the flow of grocery store traffic just like everyone else.
2. To the man who cut in line and then stood literally RIGHT by me as I was punching in my PIN number for my debit card - you need to hold your horses. And stop standing so close to me. When I can hear and feel you breathing, that's about ten steps too close. Back it up.
3. Shopping carts must maintain a distance of at least one foot from the rear end of the person in front of you. Believe me, no one appreciates it when your cart is repeatedly slamming up against the small of their back because you are too busy talking to your mother about whether or not a three-year-old would like a wallet as a present to pay attention.
Thank you. And Merry Christmas.
2 comments:
I was reading your blog to Nick. He says that after repeated rear-end cart bumping, he will drop his wallet on the floor so that he is forced to bend over and pick it up. And, in order to bend over far enough to reach the wallet, he is forced to slam the cart back into the person behind him. Okay, maybe it's not a neighborly solution, but I bet it works pretty well :)
Well, at that point I wasn't looking to be neighborly...
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