1. Husband sacrificed everything that is pure, sacred, and holy about his manhood and took me to the movie. While I was sure he would be the only man in the theater, I was surprised to find that nearly HALF of the theater was full of grown men. A little suspect if you ask me.
2. I wonder if Revlon will pick up Edward's lipstick shade. I think I would look great in it. I would like to kick out "Essence of Vampire" as the name.
3. I have no idea whose idea it was to have one of Edward's pet names for Bella be "spider monkey". The only thing I could think of was on Talladega Nights when that little kids says, "I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey."
4. When they make Edward's skin sparkle, it doesn't look like diamonds to me. Instead it just makes him look really, really sweaty.
5. Jasper. What's with the hair, man? Seriously. SERIOUSLY.
6. Did anyone else notice that there was only ONE camera angle? As in EXTREME CLOSE UP. I swear that throughout 85% of the movie you could literally see Edward's pores.
7. Why does the perfect, smooth as a stone vampire have chest hair, AKA THE CLAW sticking out of the collar of his shirt?
8. I have no idea why the girls are crazy over Edward - Carlisle and Jacob are clearly the winners in the looks department.
9. I wanted a better shot of the killing of James (as did Husband...he'd waited patiently for "the good part") - I mean, that is about the only part of the first book that I really liked.
10. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are weird in real life. I saw them on the Today show. Very strange. And speaking of strange, I saw Stephanie Meyer on Ellen the other day. She should really hire someone else to do her interviews for her (like me). She's not the least bit interesting nor entertaining.
11. I couldn't help but laugh out loud when they showed Carlisle "making" the other vampires. It's like the host on Iron Chef biting into his yellow pepper. Ridiculous.
12. Was there actually a director on set when they made this movie? I will go see the remaining movies (they are already in talks for New Moon) providing there is a new director, at least one new camera angle, and different facial expressions from Robert Pattinson...you know, beside the one where he looks constipated.
2. I wonder if Revlon will pick up Edward's lipstick shade. I think I would look great in it. I would like to kick out "Essence of Vampire" as the name.
3. I have no idea whose idea it was to have one of Edward's pet names for Bella be "spider monkey". The only thing I could think of was on Talladega Nights when that little kids says, "I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey."
4. When they make Edward's skin sparkle, it doesn't look like diamonds to me. Instead it just makes him look really, really sweaty.
5. Jasper. What's with the hair, man? Seriously. SERIOUSLY.
6. Did anyone else notice that there was only ONE camera angle? As in EXTREME CLOSE UP. I swear that throughout 85% of the movie you could literally see Edward's pores.
7. Why does the perfect, smooth as a stone vampire have chest hair, AKA THE CLAW sticking out of the collar of his shirt?
8. I have no idea why the girls are crazy over Edward - Carlisle and Jacob are clearly the winners in the looks department.
9. I wanted a better shot of the killing of James (as did Husband...he'd waited patiently for "the good part") - I mean, that is about the only part of the first book that I really liked.
10. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are weird in real life. I saw them on the Today show. Very strange. And speaking of strange, I saw Stephanie Meyer on Ellen the other day. She should really hire someone else to do her interviews for her (like me). She's not the least bit interesting nor entertaining.
11. I couldn't help but laugh out loud when they showed Carlisle "making" the other vampires. It's like the host on Iron Chef biting into his yellow pepper. Ridiculous.
12. Was there actually a director on set when they made this movie? I will go see the remaining movies (they are already in talks for New Moon) providing there is a new director, at least one new camera angle, and different facial expressions from Robert Pattinson...you know, beside the one where he looks constipated.
4 comments:
Can we be best friends? Seriously- I just laughed like crazy reading this because this is what I thought coming out of that movie...
I would also like to add:
- The part where the diner worker says something like "Here's your X plate Stephenie" and Stephanie Meyers is sitting in the shot before it pans to Bella. Yeah. I snorted- loudly- in the theater. LAME.
- The diamond skin... it looked more like he had a disease. Where were the rainbows, sun glare, where was the meadow? Or really- lets go a little more broad- the special effects. Wow. They were SO SO SO SSSOOOOOOO Bad. I laughed through like 90% of the movie.
-Deus Ex Machina with the "oh look, there is a book about the super secret stories of the indian tribe! I found it in a book store in Port Angeles- but I only read cold ones and totally knew what it was!" Come on- this girl is retarded! We've read the books. She is an idiot and wouldn't figure that out n her own. Plus- Jacob's telling her later on comes up. Lame.
- The jumping around "going fast" effect (I know I've mentioned special effects- but these moments are awesome in an embarrassing way). Wow. I really hope they keep that so I can laugh through new moon super fast hairy beasts in New Moon should be funny.
- The vampires. Okay I thought they were supposed to be beautiful. Exotic. Different. Jasper's hair. Rosalie as the most beautiful woman alive (huh? That actress is NOT that person. Plus that is some serious ghetto booty). Edwards chest hair? Alice looking normal sized and really boring? (Alice is like a weirdo! Come one!)
Yeah- I will see New Moon but only because Twilight was one of the most unintentional hilarious movies I've ever seen.
Man, it wasn't good? I'm hurt!
PS- LOVED THE GIFT! You're the sweetest. Did you know I love pomegranete.
I must agree about Jasper's hair. I thought, "Dude, you need a serious trim and Donald Trump's hairstylist should NOT have gotten this job!" My thoughts are already on my blog, but I think that you and I should meet up for the New Moon release and record a running commentary. That should be hilarious. My husband said he'd actually see it with me when it comes out on video if I don't mind him making comments the entire time. And as far as your theater being 1/2 full of guys, here's the explanation...they all wanted some and that's the only way they figured they'd be associated with either Jacob or Edward in their girlfriends' minds.
Ummm...Heather, normally I would agree with you but for the most part, it was one grown man sitting next to another grown man...really, it was. Apparently all of them wanted a piece...of Edward...
Bex - of course we can be best friends. We already are and we haven't even met each other. I trust pretty much anyone who's friends with Tomlin. She was my favorite mission companion EVER. Never a dull moment.
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