I always forget about how entertaining the gym can be until I go. The gym, just like anywhere else, is full of freaks to make fun of. Here is a sampling:
1. Lady who is 55 but thinks she is still 21 and who has recently had a boob job and a tummy tuck. I love this lady because when she comes to the gym, she comes fully decked out in makeup, jewelry, and cute clothes. She walks on the treadmill for five full minutes and then spends the rest of the time looking seductive in the corner (unfortunately for her, I think I'm the only one who notices and I am not attracted to girls - even ones with new boobs).
2. Bushy haired pixy girl who runs on her toes. I think she MIGHT weigh 80 pounds or if she's lucky, 85. She runs 5 miles everyday in less than 40 minutes and DOESN'T SWEAT A DROP. Ok, lady. No sweating means you are not working hard enough. Run another 3 miles, please.
3. Black man who tries to show off for his girlfriend. Two weeks ago, he was trying to run really fast on an incline, slipped and fell, and got dragged off the back of the treadmill. I tried not to laugh because he really looked like he was hurt...it didn't work.
4. Grunting boy - probably 22 or 23 years old. Built like a body builder on the top with legs the size of toothpicks. He always works out alone and every rep he does, he not only grunts, he half-yells. Last week, he was talking to another fellow bodybuilder when I overheard him talking about how he still needed to strengthen his "dells". Now, I'm no genius, nor am I a beefy weight lifter, but even I know that there are no "dells" on your body..."delts" maybe, but NO "dells". And besides, little boy, I would think you would want to spend some time on your hams, quads, gleuts, and more specifically, your gastrocnemius. That way you might not fall over from being top heavy.
4 comments:
You might want to add an "n" in gastroc"n"emius so you sound credible. Just helping out a sista. You forgot to mention the 87 year old pervert. Or maybe you are just lucky and your gym bans them.
Haha! I've been so focused on working out at the gym lately that I haven't seen any of this. I'll keep my eye posted though.
Going to the gym has been really educational. I found out why they call a certain work out, skull crushers.
It hurts dropping a dumbbell on your forehead!
Whatever, dude. I never claimed to be the spelling bee champion. That being said, I changed it immediately because the entire point of me knowing body parts is null and void if I can't spell them.
And, I am unaware of any 87-year-old perverts. They might go at a different time than I do. Besides, I don't need to see the pervs at the gym - I work for one.
Ooh, ooh. I have one. Pick me. My favorite is the 17-ish, skinny Asian girl that comes to the gym with her slightly older girl-friend in a mini-skirt, full makeup, and stilletos - which she smartly changes out of and puts on an even smarter flip-flop. She spends most of her time adusting the incline up and down on her .05 paced treadmill and also trying to find the cutest guy at the gym without a girlfriend.
My other favorite is the huge black guy that rides the stationary bike. He gets so into his music while he works out that suddenly starts doing the air guitar or the air drums. Then, if it's really good, he starts singing to himself. But, because he has ear phones in, it's really for the whole gym. I'm considering making him my friend.
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