I work for a brilliant man. A brilliant man who, in my opinion, has two SERIOUS character flaws (and no, we will not now, nor ever, be discussing my own character flaws because that would be ridiculous).
The number one flaw is that he clearly refuses to move into this century (meaning that he is MORE than technologically retarded) and the number two flaw is that he is 100% devoid of ANY common sense (and if there is one thing that I pride myself in, it is my common sense. I might not be able to put together a good intellectual argument or anything like that, but I can usually put two and two together and MOST of the time, it equals four).
So, this morning, he walks into the office and says that he's been having trouble with his cell phone (which is probably nearing it's 121st birthday, and which he STILL doesn't know how to use). He went by the cell phone store that he used to go to (121 years ago when he first got the cell phone) and the cell phone store doesn't seem to exist anymore. He wants us to find out where the cell phone store has moved to. Here is the ensuing conversation:
Doctor: I want you to call information and find out where Cellular Max moved to.
Erin: Cellular Max didn't move, it got bought out.
Doctor: So where is the new Cellular Max store?
Erin: There isn't one. It got bought out.
Doctor: Yeah, but where did it move to?
Erin: IT DIDN'T MOVE. IT DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE. But, since you are on Verizon, there are a billion stores that you can go to and they will help you with your phone.
Doctor: Really? So can you call them and find out where they are?
Erin: There is one on the corner of Dowlen and Phelan.
Doctor: Yeah, but I want to go to Cellular Max because they are only one block from the office.
Erin: That store doesn't exist anymore. THEY GOT BOUGHT OUT.
Doctor: Well, call information and see where the employees of Cellular Max moved to when they closed that office.
Erin: You want me to call information to find out where the old employees of Cellular Max are working now?
Doctor: Yes.
Erin: Do you know any of the names of these people?
Doctor: No, but there was one woman who was really nice to me at Cellular Max and I want to talk to her about my phone now.
Erin: How am I supposed to find these people?
Doctor: Call information. And while you're talking to them, find out where the Cellular Max store moved to...
Erin: (while rolling my eyes) THERE IS NO CELLULAR MAX.
You might think that this kind of conversation is a rare occurrence, but it's not. It happens everyday. We had a similar one the other day about a package of almonds he received in the mail.
It makes me think that I would rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks than work here anymore.
3 comments:
I love your "i'd rather" quote. Definately adding that one to our list. I'll continue to think of marketing strategies...don't worry, they'll be good. Don't stress out, and have fun!
I was so excited when you said that you were going to do the "I'd rather..." blog. Then, I looked again, and you'd erased it. COME ON! DO IT!
Wow! That is pretty dense and thick.
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