This is RIDICULOUS

I do all of the dictation in the doctor's office. What this means is that I type all of the notes that the doctor records on his little hand-held tape recorder throughout the day. What is really annoying is that sometimes, the doctor puts the tape recorder in his pocket without turning it off, thereby, letting the tape "run".

He often calls me in to his office during the day and hands me a tape while saying, "Here, I let this tape run. Make sure you listen all the way to the end."

That means that I have to listen to blank tape for a little while to make sure that it actually is the last patient on the tape (and believe me, listening to his tapes ARE NOT fun because #1 he mumbles and #2 sometimes he eats while recording, which is DISGUSTING).

Anyway, the other day, he handed me a tape and told me that he had put it in his pocket and let it run. When I got to what I thought was the end of the tape, I kept listening for a little while to make sure I didn't miss anyone. What I heard was a door closing and something that we will call, "the largest expulsion of human waste gas" that I have ever heard, followed by a loud sigh (apparently he had been holding it for a while).

I thought that was it and was thoroughly grossed out when the "plop, plop, plop" of actual human waste into the toilet began, followed by more contented sighs.

I took off the headphones and nearly threw them across the room while also yelling, "EWWW EWWWW EWWW EEEEEEWWWWWWW."

The ladies in the office got a huge kick out of it and might have, too, if it hadn't been me who had to listen to it. That's one thing that NEVER needs to be recorded. Ridiculous. That's what it is. RIDICULOUS.