Top Ten Reasons I Should NOT Work in the Medical Field
- Because one man today actually said to me, "I've been crapping my ass off for two days."
- Because the words "penis" and "vagina" still make me giggle.
- Because whenever the doctor orders the STD tests on patients, I look at them and I think, "Ohhhhooo! What have YOU been doing?"
- Because I can't spell medical terms such as "diarrhea" and "arrhythmia".
- Because no matter how much I pretend, I can't act like I care when people tell me about all of their medical problems.
- Because I don't think that SINGLE 75-year-old men should be prescribed Viagra.
- Because I still think that jokes about rectal cancer and scrotal cysts are funny.
- Because I have the urge to hang up on patients ALL THE TIME.
- Because when people try to tell me what medications they need the doctor to call in RIGHT NOW, I tune out immediately.
- Because there is a patient who comes in once a week and wants to ask me questions about her constant yeast infection. Ummm...no thanks.
6 comments:
This is the funniest thing I have ever heard. I want to send it into Letterman. I know you could get it on. This would be a perfect time to apply for a writing position on that show or any other for that matter. Love how my make my Lizzy laugh!!!!!!!!!
Love how you make my Lizzy laugh.
I sound like some kind of a hick. Either from Utah or Idaho or even maybe Texas. He He :)
I think my mom ment to say she loves how you make me laugh.:)
You really should send this to Letterman.
Hope you had a great Thanksgiving with husband!
numbers 3 and 6 were my favorite. Keep it up! that was one of the funniest things I have read on a blog in a long time! I agree. send it to Letterman. They need a few good writers right now.
i am laughing so hard right now (i'm afraid my kids are going to hear me & wake up!)
i agree with the 1st comment - this is definitely late night material! you are too funny.
Grainnie Annie, you can sound like a hick - it's ok by me. As long as you aren't white trash...
And I plan to send a copy of my book to Letterman. Perhaps he will want to hire me after he (or one of his aides) read it. And just as a big PS to Mr. Letterman here, I am more than willing to brown nose to get to the top.
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