I Don't Get It

Two things that I don't understand:

1. I'm currently suffering from what I call "Fatty McFatterson Disease". This is a disease where you find that you can't do up your pants even though the last time you went shopping, you bought THE BIGGER SIZE. My question is, why on earth is it so fun and easy to gain weight but SOOOO hard to lose it? I mean, I decided the other day that I'm now going to become a runner again. I had to run on the treadmill (ok, so not really run...more of a shuffle) next to all of these stupid twiggy high school girls who were running twice as fast as me and breathing half as hard. I was tugging at my shirt, my shorts, and other choice places to try to avoid the chub rub (which I've always had, even fifty pounds ago). And the entire time while I was watching all of my wobbly bits jiggle in the ginormous mirror that they insist on putting in front of the treadmills, I was thinking, "THIS IS NOT FUN! I DO NOT LIKE THIS! HOW ON EARTH DID I GET SO JIGGLY?"
2. I've worked in the nursery at church for over six months. Every week, I endure screaming and fighting over toys and other mahem that general accompanies seven 2-year-olds in a tiny room. Yesterday, the lady who usually helps me was sick so I had Husband come to help me. Naturally, all of the kids were perfectly behaved. ALL OF THEM. Even the two kids who usually scream for their mom the entire two hours were little angels - the one who usually sits in the coner came out and sat right by Husband and talked to him, there were very few fights over toys and even when there were, all Husband had to do was look at them and they stopped. After church he said, "I don't know why you always complain. That wasn't so bad." RIGHT. Why don't they put Husband in there?? He's obviously better at it than me.