I have some good news: I'm hot in Texas! I mean, ever since coming back from Japan, I've doubted my power of hotness to some degree because I haven't had any experiences with it since coming home. However, yesterday and today, I hit the "hotness jackpot". Let me replay the scenes for you...
Yesterday I went to get a state inspection for Texas (another crappy thing about this state. NO INSPECTIONS IN NEVADA, PEOPLE!). I pulled up to the local Shell station and two men who looked a lot like thugs wandered toward my car. I freaked out when one of them leaned up against my car and said, "Wha can I do fa ya, baby?"
Ummm...I need a state inspection.
"Hey, dat no problem, baby. You be da secon in line. Anyone tell ya today ya lookin' good?"
Um, no.
"Well, ya ahhh. Ya look goooood."
After the inspection was over, the same man rang me up and said, "How long to lib in Texas, baby?"
About six months.
"Maybe if I can git ya phone numba, I could show you aroun."
I think my husband was planning on doing that.
"Say wha? You gotta huband?"
Yes.
"Oh, dat a shame, dat is."
Yes, a shame indeed.
Then, today, a patient who is nearly 60 and also a little bit mentally retarded asked me out. He said, "I was wondering when I could take you out, sweetheart."
I said, "Ummm...Can I bring my husband?"
He was visibly upset when he replied, "Oh man! You're married? I've been trying to get up the courage to ask you out for three or four months!"
And that's it. I don't think that really counts as the power of hotness. I think it counts more towardthe power of attractive massive amounts of weirdos. I guess the only kind of hot I am has to do with the weather.
All I know is that people ALWAYS seem surprised when I say I'm married. Do I not look like the kind of girl who is likely to take a husband?
2 comments:
Man, I haven't been called attractive/cute/not repulsive since I left Japan. Even when I lived in Texas no one hit on me. You are sooo blessed.
Yes! That is the word I was looking for!! BLESSED!
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