A Job Opportunity

I'm happy to announce that there is a job opening at Victoria's Secret to be a Victoria's Secret Angel. This is because Giselle, who is apparently so famous that she doesn't need a last name, had to quit because Vicky's Secret wouldn't offer her a raise on her $5 million per year contract.

I, for one, am outraged at the Secret's apparent lack of respect. I mean, Giselle obviously DESERVES more than $5 million per year to walk down a runway nearly naked. It is, however, good news for people like me who are searching for a $4 million per year job. Hey! I'll work for less than Giselle and I'll do the same thing!

You want me to put on a $1 million diamond bra and walk around, I'll do it ALL YEAR LONG! You want me to wear some ridiculous wings and high heels, you got it! You want to put double stick tape on my chest so that my bra will stay in the right place? Ok! You want to rip every hair off my body with boiling hot wax? YOU BETCHA! I'll even wear a T-shirt that says, "It's better with an angel".

And, if Victoria's Secret isn't willing to pay me that much, I'm not scared to work for a scant $1 million a year. But know now that that's as low as I'm willing to go. I'll be waiting by the phone while also toning up for my Angel debut.