Random Thoughts

Here are some of my random thoughts that in and of themselves do not warrant an entire blog...blog space thingy....whatever it's called, it's not long enough to make sense on it's own is what I'm saying:

1. Today is Friday and I can know that it's Friday because the old man who lives a couple doors down from us was washing his car this morning. He washes his black Jeep Grand Cherokee every Friday while wearing little, tiny yellow shorts. He washes it even when it's raining, like it is today. As far as I can tell, he never actually drives the Jeep Grand Cherokee as it's always sitting in the exact same place....BACKED in, just like a Japanese car.
2. You know those people who you meet and have absolutely NOTHING to talk about?? We have neighbors that live literally next door, who, much like us, are a younger Mormon couple. You would think, be young and Mormon, that we could be friends but every time I see them, the only thing that comes out is, "Hey, how are you?". We then engage in a polite yet restrained conversation about our general wellness. When we've exhausted that avenue, we just kind of stare at one another until one of us gets in our car or goes in the house. I feel like "Dumb and Dumber": Big gulps huh? Alright! Well, see ya later. The funniest thing? I feel like that with most people around here. Is it because I am actually now half Japanese and am unable to speak to people that I don't know? Is it because I am antisocial? And most importantly, AM I THE WEIRD ONE? No....that can't be it.
3. It seems that no matter where I go, there is always someone who is willing to share their opinion. This has never been more true than at the church here in Beaumont. There is a man in Sunday School (which I got to go to this past week because I had to talk about personal preparedness for a storm....I'm totally the emergency preparedness coordinator)...I don't even know his name so I just call him "The Commenter". EVERY TIME the teacher asks a question (and sometimes even when she doesn't), The Commenter's hand shoots into the air. He has something to say about EVERYTHING. I think he's younger than I am and yet, he talks like a 70-year-old man. And most of the time, it appears that he's just bashing/arguing with himself. It takes everything I've got not to yell, "My word! Why don't you shut up! Most of your comments aren't even relevant!" I wondered how on earth The Commenter found someone to marry him until I met his wife. She is a commenter, too. I wonder how they ever get anything done around their house since they're both probably trying to state their opinion in a learned manner ALL THE TIME.
4. There is this 68-year-old woman that I work with and she has a dirty mind. Somehow yesterday, we were talking about breeding animals. She said, "I've never seen animals having sex, but I sure have had some animal sex." I almost peed my pants, I was laughing so hard. I don't know why, but while dirty old men just gross me out, dirty old women make me laugh.
5. I met the dirtiest woman I have ever met yesterday. She came into the office in a wheelchair with her oxygen tank. I don't know why she was in the wheelchair because she could walk just fine. Somehow I got volunteered to help get her up on the examining table and somewhere in the process, my head got stuck down around her chest, where naturally, she has a yeast infection growing in between her tummy and her breasts. I literally thought I was going to throw up. I stumbled out of the room, nearly dry heaving. Ewww...ewww...ewww. Sorry, but I had to share so that everyone I know will start looking for another job for me.
6. This weekend is branding at the Neff Ranch. All of my brothers and sisters are there. Yes, everyone BUT me. I'm so sad. I miss everything.
7. It's funny how people age. Some people do it really gracefully and other people look pretty much like hammered shit. I swear that the people in southeast Texas have got to be some of the worst agers of anyone I have ever met. People who are 45 come in here looking like they're 80. My parents are 62 and 63 and I don't think they look nearly as bad as the 62 and 63 year olds around here. Then again, I do work in a doctor's office and perhaps it's just because the only people I see are old, sick people. But I'm going to have to say that the ones down to the mall or Walmart don't look much better.

I think that's about it for now.