Attack of the Killer Slug

I was minding my own business on Friday night, potting a few new plants (to replace the ones that I killed because I watered them TOO MUCH. That would never be a problem in Nevada. Those same plants would soak up that water and be wanting more in 20 minutes. Stupid Texas and it's stupid humidity. It messes me up in more ways than one), when suddenly I was attacked.

I've had a couple of bags of potting soil sitting outside our back door for about three months. Little did I know that the bottom of soil bags is right where slugs like to hide out. I had both hands on the bag, trying to carefully pour the soil into the pot when suddenly I felt something on my arm. I looked down and there were two slugs, doing what they do best: attack by sliming. Naturally, I freaked out. I hate slimy things that surprise me. I dropped the bag, spilling soil all over the place, and squealed like a pig.

I flicked them off my arm and went after them with the bottom of my flip flop but stopped when I noticed that the damn things had antennae. Instead I put some dirt on top of them and went on about my business, thinking that I has performed a service.

About five minutes later, I was crouched down, tamping the soil when suddenly, I felt one of the antennae be-decked slugs crawling across my toes.

I figured that two times was enough for me, so I picked up the slug and threw it over the fence into my neighbor's back yard. Guess I showed him (I'm sure it was a boy slug). At the rate it moves, it will take it a week for it to get back to my house. And by then, I should be done potting plants.