I Am Ranch Stupid

It's the truth. I am ranch stupid. I haven't lived/worked on the ranch for a prolonged period of time for at least five years...more like six and a half. It seems that things change over time and as such, I have six and a half years of ranch terminology to catch up on. Dad and Jared have spent the last week trying to teach me how to use all of the newest farm implements while I stare off into the void and think, "When is lunch?"

I stand there while they purposefully and manly walk around the machinery, crouching at all of the appropriate times, muttering unintelligable comments about "coupling" or "net wrap" or "What was Erin thinking?" What was I thinking? You mean that I am supposed to have an original thought? How am I supposed to know if the hay is too green? I have never been able to tell, probably because I have never paid attention.

So, I figure that I am a worker bee kind of girl. What this means is that I expect things to be ready to go by the time I get there. None of this, "Erin, go hook up the baler to the Zetox tractor and bale the alfalfa on the pivot" or "Erin, take the moisture tester and see how much moisture is in the bale". I mean really. YOU hook it up, YOU test the moisture, YOU make sure there is gas in the tractor, YOU take the tractor down in the field, YOU make sure it is in the right gear. Then, I will take care of everything else. Simple. Now get to it and let me know when you are ready for me.