Iron Chef: Battle Cinnamon Roll

Remember last month when I bragged that I basically make the best cinnamon rolls in the world?

Well, my cousin Chamberlin's husband, Seth, took great offense to this declaration in this form:

That's it - I'm throwing down the gauntlet here... I think that I make the best cinnamon rolls in the world!!! I challenge you to a duel!

Not sure how to do that between AZ and TX...

I know - let's both work on a petition getting people we know to assert by signature that we make the best cinnamon rolls ever - then we'll compare how many signatures we got.


Oh, no, he di'in't...I replied:

I accept this challenge. As I've told your wife already, I'm like the Michael Jordan of cinnamon rolls. No, wait, like The Rock of cinnamon rolls. Can you smell what The Rock is cookin'?

And forget the signatures. I want cinnamon rolls overnighted to me. There really is no point if I don't at least get to taste yours.


Today, Iron Chef Battle Cinnamon Roll* was born when I received a package in the mail.

I'm not going to lie, the very best part was opening the mail box - the entire thing smelled like cinnamon.

Well played, Seth-meister.  Well played.

Here's what was enclosed:

Aren't they lovely?  As you can see, they are appropriate cinnamon roll size - there is only one appropriate cinnamon roll size - freakin' huge.  The rolling technique is impecable, far outdoing my own.  Let's face it, I suck at actually rolling the cinnamon rolls, which is really a shame because do you know how many times my dad taught me how to tightly roll a sleeping bag so the middle didn't fall out in transport?  Apparently that skill does not transfer to the kitchen.

As you can see here, he used copious amounts of cinnamon.  Again, kudos to you, Seth.

There are only two potential problems I see:

1.  The bread was a bit heavy, which after three days in the hands of US Postal Service is basically a given.  Not much you can do about that.

2.  Lack of frosting.  I know this is purely opinion based, but a cinnamon roll is mostly just a vehicle to get gluttonous amounts of frosting into my mouth.  Get in my belly!

Otherwise, practically perfect in every way.

I shall be making my battle ready rolls this coming Sunday to send back to Arizona for his critique.  Get ready for a mind numbing defeat, Mr. Seaman.

*An extra special thanks to Seth and his wife for going along with my stupid demands and making this so much fun!  Getting the package was a blast!  Did I mention that Seth and Chamberlin have four girls ages 3 and under?  And get this...three of them are 18-month-old triplets, which makes you wonder how on earth there was even time to make a send cinnamon rolls in the first place.  You all are terrific!