I'm Going to Complain

1.  I'm feeling very discouraged.  Exhausted.  Out-of-sorts. Half-baked.  Mostly because none of my plans have been going the way I need/want them to. 

2.  I have a semi-job offer to do massage therapy full-time.  I can't decide if it's worth the risk to quit a job that's a sure thing to go into an industry where I could easily make three times as much in a week or I possibly could make absolutely nothing.  The good thing about the job is that that I would be my own boss, I could set my own hours, and I would like what I'm doing.  Husband said, "Well, if you really want to do this, you're going to have to take a leap of faith sooner or later."  True, but why, oh why, does that leap of faith have to come right now, when we've already taken several other VERY LARGE leaps of faith within the last two weeks??

3.  The feeding of solids to Carolyn seems to be going very well.  Despite the fact that I'm pretty sure she's more interested in the brightly colored spoons than she is in actually eating, she's been downing two full tablespoons (mixed with four tablespoons of milk) 2 times a day.  Sometimes she has to stop to play with her feet.  But, when she's ready to eat again, you'd better be ready with the next bite or else you'll hear about it.  Now I don't really know what to do - I guess I continue to feed her more and more cereal and less and less formula??  What's the max on the cereal?  Just feed her till she's full?  Ugh.  It shouldn't be this hard, right?

4.  I'm also trying to work Carolyn out of her night-time swaddle.  Saturday and Sunday I left her right arm out and she slept for 10 full hours.  Last night I left her left arm out (her left arm is a bit less coordinated than her right) and apparently that signals that it's TIME TO PARTY.  She was awake by about 3:45, just chatting it up, sucking on her hand.  Every time I walked in there, she'd be quiet for about 20 minutes, and then start talking again.  I fed her around 5 after which she continued to chat it up.  At 6:30 I took her downstairs and gave her some cereal and started getting her ready for the day.  By 7, she was rubbing her eyes and fussing because she was exhausted.  I about started to cry because she got to go back to sleep while I went to work.

5.  My first day back to work after the holiday break was spent moving 300 pound lateral filing cabinets and mounds and mounds of dirty old files.  Now, we all know I'm a semi-wuss, but I honestly don't mind hard physical labor.  However, #1 I was wearing a skirt, a nice sweater, and high heels and #2 all of the men in the office were sitting at their desks shouting instructions.  Uh, if you've got something to say about how this is getting accomplished, get off your lazy rear ends and help us. 

6.  I know it's hard to believe, but there are people out there who don't like me.  I can accept that.  There's this guy that I work with who no one likes.  Literally.  I've never met a single person who has a positive opinion of him.  And naturally, the guy, who is a one-upper, is blissfully unaware.  I wonder how that escapes one's attention.

7.  We are again looking for childcare for a few hours/day Monday-Wednesday and then half the day on Thursday while Husband goes to school.  I've had several very nice offers that I was really excited about - until they started to name all of the stipulations.  Sigh.  I am sick, sick, sick of this process.

8.  I put $5 toward the Mega Million Lotto.  The jackpot is $330 million.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to win.  I know it's gambling, but I figure since me winning would allow me to stay home with Carolyn, it'd be easy to get forgiveness.

9.  The Tummy Toucher tried to hug me yesterday.  I had to wax on/wax off.  I'm sorry, but we don't hug.  Ever.  Why are you such a freak?

10.  I live in the wrong time zone for college football bowl season.  The games don't even start until 7:30 or later meaning I can only watch the first quarter before I have to go to bed.  Because I'm an old lady with a non-sleeping baby.