Get It Straight

1.  To the people I work with:  I've worked here for almost a year-and-a-half.  I have no idea how you still think I'm from Arizona.  I'm from Nevada.  N-E-V-A-D-A.  I'll thank you to stop asking me what the weather is like in Phoenix.

2.  The Christmas program at church yesterday was lovely.  Whenever I see things like that, I sort of feel left out.  Because I can't play any kind of an instrument (I'm a piano lesson drop-out).  And I can't read music or sing.  It's even more of a shame because my two older sisters are very musically talented.  One plays the piano and one sings.  They also happen to be beautiful.  In fact, one of my high school teachers told me that it really was too bad that I didn't look like them.  Instead I just look like....me.  Thanks for nothing, Mr. Swabb.

3.  And speaking of church, I kind of feel like a part-time Mormon.  Ever since I started back to work, it seems like Carolyn has been sick.  It's miserable.  I try to do the responsible thing and keep her home from church - because that's what I would want other parents to do.

4.  Did anyone else see the Mormon Tabernacle Choir on ABC yesterday afternoon?  Whatever you think about Mormons, the Mo-Tab is outstanding.  Sandy Patty was their special guest.  She has a beautiful voice.  However, to her detriment, she decided to wear a dress that looked almost exactly like the White Witch's from the Narnia movies.

5.  And as long as we're talking about music, I can't hear the song We Three Kings and not giggle.  Every year in Ruby Valley, they have an "All-Faith's Program" where they have speakers from several different religions.  The men's choir has sung We Three Kings ever since I can remember.  The "men's choir" consists of any man who will get up on that day and join in the singing - there aren't any rehearsals.  So mostly, it's just the Mormon men and usually the visiting Baptist/Cowboy Church preacher.  They sing all of the verses.  Uncle John is usually considered the star of the performance.

6.  Things that make me miss dad at Christmas:  chocolate covered cherries, his Christmas list that always consisted of "socks, lemonade, hot fudge sundae, and a La-Z-Boy", him telling me and my little sister on Christmas morning that we had to wake everyone else up before he would get up, how excited he would get over any weather measuring implement - an indoor/outdoor thermometer, a rain gauge, etc., him sitting by the fire in his socks.

7.  I wish I were going home for Christmas.  It just doesn't seem like the holidays when it's 70 degrees outside.

8.  Several people here at work have found out about my book.  It apparently elevated my "smarts" status.  People are asking me all kinds of things now. 

9.  One of the vendors who comes in bought my book so he could "get ideas" about how to write his own memoir.  He said the reason he hasn't published his own book yet is because he "ain't no good at no English."  When I was at lunch, he left a note on my desk saying "Dat der part 'bout da drunks were funny".  Um.  Ok.

10.  There are several vendors who have brought inexpensive Christmas gifts for all members of my department.  They've been doing this for years and years.  The one guy that no one likes questioned the "legality" of accepting gifts from people we also receive bids from right in front of The Interim (this is the same guy who goes out to lunch with vendors 2-3 times a week).  There's never been a problem with it before, but thanks to this guy, we now don't get anything.  And guess who has to call the vendors to tell them to come and take their gifts back?  You got it.  Me.  Really, could it get more awesome? That guy is going to get a kick to the crotch on the day I quit this job.