I first saw the advertisement for the Slap-Chop three years ago.
I was enthralled because good ol' Vince promised that the Slap Chop would make my life better.
Despite that, I didn't buy one.
At least not right away.
Then, two weeks ago, as I was perusing the kitchen implements at my local grocery store, what did I see?
A knock-off Slap Chop.
MUST HAVE.
I had visions of grandeur dancing in my head.
Like how I would buy the Slap Chop and a whole bunch of onions. And shallots. And green peppers.
Then chop them up.
And freeze them.
Because for reasons I'll never understand, onions rot with amazing speed in Texas.
Like 10 days.
Even in an air conditioned house.
I swear, in Nevada, you can keep onions for like 12 years.
The Slap Chop was the obvious answer.
I could stop wasting food and on top of that, be totally prepared with chopped veggies at the snap of a finger like a good, Mormon girl should.
But my dreams were crushed.
Because the fake Slap Chop's blade is about as sharp as Mel Gibson's brain.
I guess it's back to the drawing board.
3 comments:
My favorite line from the Slap Chop commercial is when Vince says, "You'll love my nuts!"
So you know how my mom has an infomercial addiction? Well, she totally has the slap chop - the real deal slap chop. It's pretty cool... except... you never get an even chop. Half of it is minced while the other is barely chopped at all. Sorry, but even the real deal isn't that cool.
Have you seen my onion chopper? It works well - but you can't put too big a piece of onion in it, or it will bend. Wrecked my last one. So, you do end up cutting your onion into quarters at least, but when you're finished, you have nice, uniform chunks. Then, Ian told me I couldn't keep them in the fridge because he "couldn't stand the smell". Maybe it is better to send them straight to the freezer.
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