To Those on Campus

Dear Girl -

I'm as much for outward displays of self-confidence as the next person, but does your display of self-confidence really have to include shorts so short that we get a full glimpse of your bum cheeks?  And your gut?  Let's cover it up, there, killer.

Looking Out for You,

Erin


Dear Boy -

Um.  Ok.  I have no idea why on earth you were wearing a full set of chaps and your spurs on campus in this 90 degree weather, but here's a tip for you:  if you insist on full cowboy gear anywhere at any time, you either have to be riding an honest-to-goodness horse or drive a truck.  Not a VW Rabbit.

Just sayin',

Erin


Dear Other Boy -

Thank you for whistling at me while I stood waiting to cross the street.  But, I have to say, if, "hey, baby, baby, waiting to get freaky with you, baby" is your best line, you really ought to go back to the drawing board.  Oh, and also, even if you had a better pick-up line, you could never afford me.

You're Welcome,

Erin


Dear My Boss -

Don't you think it's funny that even though I've done all the paperwork for all the major construction projects on campus, I've never been inside even one of the buildings?  Don't you think I ought to have at least one day a week where I tour them?  I think so.

Thanks,

Erin


Dear My Boss...Again -

Since the Temporary Project Manager has returned to his job in Dallas, don't you think it would be wise for me to have his office?  It's basically a hole in the wall, but at least it has a door that I could close so no one would steal the pens off my desk.  And then my contact with The Tummy Toucher would be limited and nothing would make me happier.

Please Consider It,

Erin


Dear Campus Squirrel -

I saw you eyeing my toes while I was sitting out under your tree at lunch.  I know you thought they were lil' smokies.  I know you were thinking of attacking.  If that ever happens, even though it's against campus rules to kill you, I'll take my chances.  Sister-in-law would make you into a pie.

Keeping My Eye on You,

Erin