Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Have a Hamburger, Fatty

I don't really cook anymore.

And by "anymore", I mean never.

Because Carolyn gets really fussy right around dinner time.

So, since coming back to work, I have had no leftovers to bring for lunch.

I don't do sandwiches. 

Mostly because all growing up, pretty much the only thing we ever had for lunch at school was a sandwich. 

And regardless of what kind of sandwich it was, it tasted like a banana.

Because we also always had bananas for our lunches and the taste of banana permeates anything remotely close in proximity.

Incidentally, I don't really like bananas either.

Today I headed to the Hamburger Depot.

It was my first time.

My stomach had been growling since 10:30, so I figured a double cheeseburger was in order.

When the lady came around to bring me my food, she bore a hamburger at least the size of my head.

A hamburger that would easily leave grease stains on both my forehead and chin at the same time.  And deposit mayonnaise in my hair.

It was like those hamburgers you always see the contestants on Biggest Loser eating in their application videos. 

The lady looked at me and said, "GIRL!  I know you didn't order no double."

Um, yes, actually I did.  That's not it, is it?  That thing is ginormous!

"GIRL!  This is your burger.  They usually warn the ladies about the burger size when they order.  You know, unless they see the lady and they think she can handle it.  I guess you one-a-those.  Look like you gonna handle it just fine."

Gee.

I don't know what to say.

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

4 comments:

Kimberly said...

Erin, I can't believe they didn't warn you! I go with Adam sometimes to eat there and I usually order the jr or whatever it is because their regular burgers are so huge! What was the cashier thinking when she didn't tell you that the double is so large that it really is the size of your head??

Kendra said...

Stupid people...**Virtually punching the cashier and waitress in the face**

The Pittmeister said...

No wonder Texas has 5 of the top 10 fattest cities in the U.S.! I'm not saying you're fat (because you're not), but with double cheeseburgers the size of one's head, I would say that is one state that needs to learn the principles of "portion control".

R said...

I thought I was the only one who noticed the banana thing. I had oreos that tasted line bananas thanks to them being too close together in a lunch bag.