Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done

Today I did the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Well, I mean, I didn't actually do it.

Husband did it for me.

Because I couldn't handle it.

At 6:30 am, he left the house with Carolyn.

To drop her off at his sister's house for the day.

Carolyn, ever the champ, slept for eight straight hours last night for the first time in 10 days.

I didn't sleep at all.

I kept waking up and going into her room to stand over her crib.

I told her I was sorry I was leaving her.

Again.

And again.

I cried.

When Husband pulled out of the carport, I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown.

Now, here I am, at work.

And just like before, they've promised all of this work I've yet to see....except filing. 

There's always filing.

So, I sit.

And twiddle my thumbs.

While someone else takes care of my baby.

2 comments:

stephanie from texas said...

she is being a perfect little angel. she ate for her uncle kevin, pooped for me, played with us, and then took a nice morning nap. we are having a fab time.

i hope you can stop worrying a little bit. i love her and am happy to have her here. time will fly by.

jlbunting.com said...

Oh Erin, I can't even imagine. I remember the first time I left Kevin, I think he was maybe a week old and I went to the chiropractor. I took a wrong turn on the way back home and was in tears because I wanted to be home with my baby. I do not envy you one bit.
You are a great mom and I know you are doing what you need to for your sweet little girl. Good luck!