1. I always swore that once I had a baby, that wouldn't be the only thing I would write about. So much for that. I've become one of those people. I can't really help it. I mean, I spend all day every day trying to keep my baby full, dry, and happy. I have no contact with other people. Even if I do, I'm so tired that I can't even hold a decent conversation.
2. Carolyn is apparently going through a growth spurt. Or something. If there hasn't been a nipple in her mouth at any time over the past two days, she's been screaming her head off. She finishes eating and is ready to eat again - even if she's the one who ended the previous eating session. She also doesn't want to be put down to sleep - she lasts about ten minutes and then is wide awake again. I'm about ready to go crazy.
3. I was reading the other day that most newborns can't stay awake for more than a couple hours at a time. Apparently they don't know my baby. Yesterday she was wide awake from 10 am to almost 10 pm with 3-4 10-minute cat naps. She was also awake in the middle of the night for 3 hours.
4. It really is discouraging to finish a 40 minute nursing session only to have her come off smacking her lips, rooting, and sucking on her hand like she hasn't had anything to eat.
5. The funny thing is, she tolerates the supplementary formula better than she does breast milk. She's constantly spitting the breast milk up. When she spits up the breast milk, I want to gather it somehow and put it back in her body. Because, good grief, I worked hard to make the little she's getting and I want her to keep it all. I can always make more formula.
6. And speaking of spit up, I bought cloth diapers for burp rags. They're massive. They cover almost the entire front of my shirt. And yet, somehow, Carolyn always manages to find the very edge and spit up there. Yesterday it was literally right down the front of my shirt - like inside of the shirt on my skin. What's wrong with the middle of the burp rag??
7. I always thought that postpartum depression was kind of isolated. Now, I think that all women must experience it to some degree. How can you not? You're exhausted. Ninety percent of the time when your baby cries, you have no idea why. You're supposed to limit contact with other people for a certain period of time for your baby's health. You feel like an alien in your own body. Maybe they should just discharge all new mothers with a prescription for Xanex!
8. I've decided that I'm going to stop wearing clothes. Instead, I'm going to just wear a swimsuit all day every day...because I'm tired of yanking my shirt up to feed every 45 minutes.
6 comments:
Found your blog and had to comment...been there and done that. My son had severe silent reflux and would eat like there was no tomorrow and scream like it was the end of time. By the time we got it corrected at 10 weeks, he spent some time on constant doses of Maalox and then Zantac for a year. New kid in a few days after that started, then we removed soy and all that mess, and much improved. But he was a champion screamer. Vaccum cleaner...wonderful thing. We would turn it on and out he would go. Good luck and big hugs!
Wow, I loved this post. I didnt breastfeed, however I totally understand the lack of sleep and lack of contact with other people! I have 3 girls, thankfully grown now!! I wish you lots of luck!
jbdownie5@yahoo.com
I never leave the hospital without a prescription for Zoloft. It gets me through the first 3 months of the baby's life. Then I am able to cope on my own for the most part.
I know you are tired and frustrated, but in about three weeks, you will wake up one day and realize that things are better than they were just a few ago. You will have a more consistent routine in place; you will understand the cries more; you will have more confidence in yourself; and it all adds up with everyone being happier.
For Carolyn's naps, I always swaddled the baby and put some blankets around the baby. They are used to the tight quarters--that's how they've been for the past nine months--and they usually slept a little better then.
Good luck! You can do it!
I felt all those same things!!! And, yes, at this point..it's a growth spurt...and there will be more! (dreaded by me)
I thought for sure that the depression was going to get the best of me. I had many points where I just sat in the bathroom and cried. But, now at 10 weeks, we're okay! Sometimes I still get some "what if's" but for the most part I'm happy, Marlee's happy, everyone is happy! :) So, don't fret...I promise it all falls into place!
hi
this entry had me laughing once again. Don't worry about talking too much about your baby. and this is coming from someone who doesn't have one. I'm not really relating like the other mothers commenting here, because I have only babysat once or twice nieces and nephews but I still enjoy reading.x
Erin I love that you are able to put the beginning stages of motherhood in a very realistic word form. I agree 100% with this entire post, just anywhere you have place "Carolyn" replace it with Jillian.
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