Eclipse in Review

1.  Can we please, please, please get a new actor to play Edward?  Like someone who doesn't always try to look so intense?  Because he bugs me.  I really did think Robert Pattinson was cute in Harry Potter.  What happened, Robert?  Beside the fact that your hair turned extra, super greasy?

2.  Is sunflower yellow the actual school color of Forks High School?  Or did they pick it randomly for the movie graduation?  Because either way, it made everyone wearing it appear a little jaundice.

3.  It hits me about every thirty-five seconds that all of the characters in the movie are supposedly still in high school.  And then I think, "What do they know about love?  They're like sixteen.  Plus, they're wearing skinny jeans.  Skinny jeans are wrong."

4.  I don't know why they made such a big deal about casting someone new for the part of Victoria.  I didn't even notice a difference.  Apparently in my eyes, a red head is a red head is a red head.

5.  The best part of the movie, hands down, is Bella's father, Charlie.  I mean, he's a funny guy.  I also get a kick out of Emmett.  All the others are just kind of there.

6.  Husband was relieved to find that Jasper is actually a real man, despite his choice of hair do and lipstick color.  Anyone who kills other people/vampires is elevated in Husband's eyes.

7.  What was with all the kissy kissy?  I wanted more of the fighting.  More violence.  More killing.  Because really, they talk about Victoria coming for at least an hour and a half before anything happens.  BORING.

8.  I almost laughed right out loud when the vampire army walked out of the ocean.  It reminded me of  Pirates of the Caribbean.

9.  I also laughed the first time you see Jacob in the movie - when he turns around by his motorcycle and they start playing that song - the one that lets you know you are beholding awesomeness.

10.  I'm more than sad that I didn't end up seeing the movie with my friend, who apparently had an ongoing commentary on the movie compliments of a couple of older black ladies sitting behind her.  It included almost shouting, "Oooo, Bella be a slut!" when she kissed Jacob near the end.

11.  In conclusion, I can't side with either Team Edward or Team Jacob.  Because both of them are in love with Bella.  And Bella, in my book, is a sniveling weasel who really has no self-esteem or any kind of ability to make up her mind.  Good grief, just pick one and stick with it!  I'm done with this love triangle thing.

All this being said, it really was the best Twilight movie to date - which puts it right up there as one of the greatest cinematic accomplishments of all time - at least until the next movie, which will apparently deal with more "adult themes".  That's just code for sex, drugs and rock 'n roll.  Minus the drugs and rock 'n roll.